Thursday, January 26, 2012

24 Hours Left to Wait


I'm heading in to the RE's office in exactly 24 hours to FINALLY get the pregnancy results. C and I discussed POAS today, but we decided to wait. I'm terrified to get the results. I'd rather live in my blissful naive state of mind that I'm in right now. I want to stay PUPO. I don't want to be proven otherwise nor confirmed. I'm scared.
I'm off today, and I have a feeling it's going to be a long day! I'm trying to keep myself busy (grocery shopping, cleaning and making my famous lasagna), but I can't help feeling overwhelmingly anxious and nervous about tomorrow. C is in meetings most of the day so I can't even bother him with texts.
I've been feeling some symptoms that were leading me to think this was definitely it. However, I woke up today and feel completely normal. I'm confused. I think my mind is playing tricks on me.
I don't know how we can handle the news tomorrow if the test comes back negative...I want off this roller coaster ride!! We are approaching the 4 year mark. We've been through enough.
In other news, I have an oil pocket on my right side from the progesterone. It's been so painful I have a limp from time to time. Getting up after sitting for a while makes it especially agonizing. I laid across the husband's lap last night while he massaged my butt/hip area to help get rid of the lump. So romantic... It hurt a lot, but felt much better afterwards. We are now adding a butt massage to the nightly list of pills, ice, injection, and heating pad routine. Yes, we definitely know how to have a good time.
So that's it. I'm freaking out. I have lost my patience. The next 24 hours will be life changing no matter the outcome. I'm praying and hoping for the best. I can't do anything else at this point...

13 comments:

Toni Rapp said...

I am definitely giving you kuddos for not testing early, that is So hard. Keeping my fingers crossed for you and hoping for great news!

Good luck!

Julie said...

I totally hate POAS!! You are so close!

Janet said...

Good for you for not testing...just a little bit longer. Hang in there!

Our Journey Through This Lovely Life said...

O My! You are so strong! Good for you! I am praying for wonderful news for you and your husband tomorrow!

Charlotte said...

Hang in there! No matter what happens, you'll be okay... I'm keeping you in my thoughts!

Jill said...

Good luck tomorrow. I hoping for you to get it. I agree with no POAS - it will make you crazy. If it's neg or pos I wouldn't believe it anyways until I get the actual number. You are almost there.

Jules said...

I am so impressed you haven't POAS yet. You are almost there!!! Sending positive vibes your way!

amiracle4us said...

I'm with you...I didn't POAS either. Hoping you get great news!

Nichole said...

Don't let the absence of symptoms fool you. I thought the same thing and we're pregnant!!! You're the first person in the blog world to know :) I hope we'll be celebrating together :)

I feel your pain on the oil pocket :( Massage will help and it will go away. Mine took 2-3 weeks.

stick said...

Great job Amber! I pray you and Collin both get wonderful news tomorrow. Keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers.

Mrs. T said...

Good Luck tomorrow!

MaryMargaret said...

Good luck tomorrow- I know it has been a long wait!

Amber said...

Thank you all so much for your support!! I made it to Beta Day without POAS! The last day really had me feeling/acting nutty.
I appreciate all your kind words!