Thursday, January 26, 2012
24 Hours Left to Wait
I'm heading in to the RE's office in exactly 24 hours to FINALLY get the pregnancy results. C and I discussed POAS today, but we decided to wait. I'm terrified to get the results. I'd rather live in my blissful naive state of mind that I'm in right now. I want to stay PUPO. I don't want to be proven otherwise nor confirmed. I'm scared.
I'm off today, and I have a feeling it's going to be a long day! I'm trying to keep myself busy (grocery shopping, cleaning and making my famous lasagna), but I can't help feeling overwhelmingly anxious and nervous about tomorrow. C is in meetings most of the day so I can't even bother him with texts.
I've been feeling some symptoms that were leading me to think this was definitely it. However, I woke up today and feel completely normal. I'm confused. I think my mind is playing tricks on me.
I don't know how we can handle the news tomorrow if the test comes back negative...I want off this roller coaster ride!! We are approaching the 4 year mark. We've been through enough.
In other news, I have an oil pocket on my right side from the progesterone. It's been so painful I have a limp from time to time. Getting up after sitting for a while makes it especially agonizing. I laid across the husband's lap last night while he massaged my butt/hip area to help get rid of the lump. So romantic... It hurt a lot, but felt much better afterwards. We are now adding a butt massage to the nightly list of pills, ice, injection, and heating pad routine. Yes, we definitely know how to have a good time.
So that's it. I'm freaking out. I have lost my patience. The next 24 hours will be life changing no matter the outcome. I'm praying and hoping for the best. I can't do anything else at this point...