Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Life is Changing

I'm 7 weeks 5 days pregnant. I'm still getting used to thought of actually being pregnant...I wonder how long that will stick around?

It's started to sink in that we are in fact having twins. We're very excited and a little overwhelmed at the same time. We did a walk through at Babies R Us just to browse, because neither one of us has any clue what we're doing and what we need. Our walk through got us thinking about what we'll need for the babies, which in turn, resulted into an avalanche of where are we going to put all this stuff? Those double strollers are huge!

The house we live in right now is lovely, and has plenty of space for the time being, but we've always known this was not our forever home. We had plans of moving in 3-5 years, with our without kids. After we found out we were pregnant with twins, we started to ponder moving with two 3 year old children and 3 pets and quickly became overwhelmed by the idea. How would we ever keep the house clean and organized for showings? Maybe shedding a pet or two would help? I know 3 pets is a lot, but I adore our pets (one dog and two cats) and feel very passionately about adopting homeless pets so I know it would be easier to not have the animals, but there is no way I'd ever part with any of them. I can't stand people who adopt pets when it's convenient for them and then ditch them when they don't fit into their lives anymore. Don't get me started on animal rights... So here we are, in a house we'll fit in for now, but will close in quickly on us when the kids start moving around on their own. Plus, we're not in the school district we'd like to be in for our kiddos right now so aside from the space issue, we'd have to move before the kids start school.

Needless to say, we had a realtor over last night to discuss our options. We were both nervous about the meeting because we've all heard about the housing market these days... We found out we could sell our house and break even with the realtor fees; this is what we were hoping for. We've lived in the house for 3 years and got our $8k check from the government for buying our house in the first place, which we now get to keep since we've lived here 3 years. Thank you Obama!! The realtor was also impressed with the house and said she feels confident we could get it sold in 3-4 months. I watched a segment on the Today Show that said houses should be thought of as piggy banks and not cash cows. We won't be making money on our house, but we have all the money we've paid on it coming back to us and we will be able to make enough to cover the realtor fees. Plus, we're looking to upgrade and feel confident that we can get a great deal on a new house. Sounds like a positive situation given the market these days...

With this information under our belts, we're seriously considering moving. I didn't think we'd be moving so soon from this house. I love this house! We've been spoiled by the privacy it offers and I hope we can find something very similar but with more space.

The idea of moving has made the realization of how much our lives are changing sink in fast. Don't get me wrong, it's a very welcome change and we couldn't be happier, but there is a lot that will be changing around here!!

As far as the pregnancy goes, I've had strings of days where I'm nauseous all day and other days where I feel only slightly nauseous throughout the day. I never feel 'normal' anymore. I got a list of nausea remedies from the doctor; one was 25 mg of Vitamin B6 every 8 hrs. Whenever I'm feeling green, I've taken one of those and it seems to help curb the nausea tremendously. One thing that never seems to leave is the exhaustion! Here's an example: I went to bed last night at 10:30 and got up with my husband at 6:45 am to see him off to work. I laid down on the couch around 8 am and woke up at 10:30 am. I went to our room with the idea of showering, but laid down in bed (for just a minute!) and woke up to his text message at 11:56 am telling me he was coming home for lunch! I think I may get a few things done around the house and sneak in another nap because I'm still tired. I have some friends coming into town from Wisco tomorrow and I hope I can muster the energy to be a good host for the weekend... I'm also looking a little puffy around the midsection. Collin likes to say 'something's going on in there' whenever he sees it. They are all welcome signs.

As far as upcoming appointments, we're doing an ultrasound on March 7 and one March 19 and then we are done with any and all RE's. I'm ready to graduate to a regular OB! We're still trucking along with the progesterone injections (I had the option to switch to the suppository form of Crinone, but I opted not to change...another story for another time perhaps), Estrogen pills, and Metanx pills. We'll be done with the progesterone and estrogen at 10 weeks.

I'm still nervous about the ultrasounds and each milestone brings on anxiety, but I'm starting to enjoy myself a little more each day. Pregnancy after loss is not a relaxing ordeal....

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Ultrasound 1 at 6w5d

We traveled to Chattanooga for our first ultrasound today. The more sensible option would have been to do the ultrasound at my RE's office in Knoxville, but we had a graduation day ultrasound there only to find out there was no heartbeat. Call me superstitious, but we've had great luck with everything in Chattanooga so we traveled there for numero uno ultrasound!
Talk about heart was pounding as I sat with my paper blanket on waiting for the Doc to come in to scan me. I expressed my anxiety and she said 'your numbers were great, I'm not worried.' Bold statement! I saw a sac right away, but I didn't see anything in it. The Doc wasn't saying anything. My heart began to sink...
Just as I was wondering if I may pass out, she exclaimed, "There's two!!"
One is measuring at 6w2d and the other is measuring at 6w3d; I'm at 6w5d so these are perfect numbers. Baby A had a heartbeat of 124 and Baby B had a heartbeat of 127. Both look perfect according to the MD.
Since I'm a worrier, she said I need to relax. With the way everything looked, she estimated a chance of miscarriage to be only about 3% at this point.
This is real!! They are real! I can enjoy this pregnancy from this point forward. I'm going to make it a point to enjoy every moment forward. I'm hopping on Amazon to order a pregnancy journal after I get done writing. I want to remember every single second of this miracle.
Next came the bunches of phone calls and texts to family and close friends. What amazing news!
Baby A was easy to find and measure. I think s/he takes after his/her calm sensible father. Baby B was a bit hidden and laying sideways. I think s/he takes after his/her spunky mother.
We are thrilled!!! In the 3.5+ years years we have been on this journey, I've always said I wanted twins! Twins means NEVER having to do IF treatment again. NEVER. Unless we somehow lose our minds and decide a 3rd child would be a good idea. Maybe there is someone out there who listens to these requests... Days like this make me believe in miracles!
TWINS!!! Is there a better sound in the world then a baby's heartbeat?! It doesn't get any better than this...
What a perfect day. I can smile a little brighter today knowing I have 2 perfect babies growing inside me.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Waiting for a 6 Week Ultrasound is Like Dating

I've been intentionally AWOL from the blogging community. When I got my BFP I was beyond ecstatic. Slowly, the doubts and worry have managed to creep in and blot out a lot of my happiness. I know all too well what it's like to have an ultrasound without a heartbeat. I've been in my own little world trying to patiently wait for the ultrasound..."trying" being the operative word.

I think this whole thing reminds me of dating... You know when you first start dating someone and you realize you are head over heels into them, but you are unsure if they feel the same way so to avoid being labeled a creeper you don't profess your feelings? You just keep seeing this person and hope they feel the same way about you. You want the relationship to last. Well, that's how I feel right now. I'm head over heels at the thought of being pregnant, but I am afraid to be too happy because I don't know if this will work out. I'm putting my feelings on a shelf trying to stay sane.

We've been trying to take a baby home for over 3.5 years. I've been trying to get pregnant since I miraculously managed to get pregnant on an injection/IUI cycle over 2 years ago. I'm thrilled to be able to think, 'I am pregnant.' I only hope it lasts.

As far as symptoms go, I definitely have a 'she drank too many beers' belly thing going on even though I haven't gained a pound. I've been a sleeping fanatic. I can't manage to make it through a 12 hr night shift without catching a little shut eye. I have felt crummy on and off, but nothing too remarkable. Yesterday was my first bout of real nausea since a few days post the transfer. I was in the middle of feeding our dog, Miles, his dinner when I had to make a mad dash to the bathroom. My stomach was empty so I only dry heaved. Really, that's it. I wish I was feeling nauseous all the time because I think I'd feel slightly less paranoid.

So here I am, waiting. I have no idea what next week will bring. I just hope this pregnancy continues...I'm not ready for it to end!