Monday, January 21, 2013

More Babies?!

I started a blog about cloth diapering, but I'll have to save that one for another day. I wanted to write about something more interesting. It's 4:00 and this is the first time I have been more than 1 ft away from a baby since 7 a.m. I feel like I'm practicing attachment parenting. How the hell does anyone do that? Ella is on her 4th outfit for the day, thanks to our old pal Puke. Yup, Puke deserves to be spelled with a capital 'P' because it is that much a part of our lives. The babies had their 4 month shots last week and those shots really screw with my babies. Has anyone else experienced this? Both have been on a Puke a thon since they got their shots. Little man has been running a low grade fever and they are both just fussy and needy. They are not themselves. The last time they had shots it took about 4-5 days for Evan to return back to normal. I feel bad for my little babies!

So, I have a new relationship to tell you about. It started a few months ago and I think it's the real deal. It's gotten serious. I'm completely in love. I'm in love with our Kuerig. I stand with bated breath every morning as I select my flavor of coffee. I feel the thrill of anticipation as I hear the sweet sound of my coffee pouring into my cup. I feel like a complete mess until I've had my first cup. Ahhh, steamy sweet energy boost in a cup. I love you.

Since this blog is entitled 'More Babies' I guess I should quit the BS and get to the point. I wish I got paid $1 for every time someone asked me if I want more kids. I could surely hire a part time nanny by now. Who am I kidding? I'd rather get $1 for every time a baby puked on me; then I could just retire. I think people in the South tend to be more intrusive than the Midwest. I feel like people ask a lot of personal questions, and being a Wisconsinite all my life, I'm just not used to this. I don't know. Maybe people just feel the need to ask intrusive questions once you have kids. Whatever the reason, I'm not a fan.

I was giving report at work last week, so there were about 8-10 of us sitting around chatting and getting report. One of the ladies I work with asks out of nowhere, 'Are you having more kids?' I laughed it off with a 'Let's wait until these grow a little.' But then she sprung a 'are you on birth control' question at me. is that any of your business? These are co-workers, some of which are men, and I was completely thrown by the question. I jokingly told her I was on 5 different types of BC to prevent any more kids and then I quickly changed the subject by talking about a patient's mucus. Sorry, but I really don't want to talk about birth control at work.

I know I'm not the only one experiencing this, but I'm asked CONSTANTLY if/when we want more babies. I have 4 month old twins. How the hell do I know if I want more kids?! I tend to just blow this question off with a 'let's let these babies grow up first and we'll see' kind statement. 

(Note-Evan is now with me in the Moby since he was fussy. Here I go again practicing attachment parenting. I hate vaccinations.)

We all know people ask a lot of stupid questions, so this is just one of the many I have been asked recently. I still get a lot of questions regarding twins in my family and if we had twins 'naturally', if the twins are identical (even though they are dressed in very gender specific outfits-Yup! They are identical except for the penis he happens to have) etc. 

People constantly inquring about the possibililty of additional children has got me thinking...where do we stand on this matter? We've talked about how many kids we wanted for years, but the number has always changed. Who knows if we could even have any more? I would never do a fresh IVF again and although we have 12 frozen embryos there is no guarantee they would result in children. It took us 4.5 years to have the twins so I know all too well that nothing is certain.

Obviously, we have our hands full currently so there are no plans of trying for more kids anytime soon. We've talked about someday trying the 'old fashion' way just to see what happens. I've always wanted a big family so maybe it's a possibility to defrost more embryos down the road. Once both kids head to school at the same time things might get too quiet in this house and I may get the itch for more babies. What if we have one more baby? Three kids is a lot...they outnumber you. Three means a bigger vehicle is a necessity because you can't have three kids piled across the backseat. Three means another college tuition, wedding, etc. to take care of. It would change a lot. If we decide this is it or get pregnant the old fashioned way, what will we do with our remaining 12 embryos? We've talked about possibly donated them to another couple. Possibly just keeping them frozen forever (I think they can remain frozen for 20 years? I'm too tired to look right now.) I don't know... For those of you who have frozen embryos and have babies, what are your plans?

I guess I really don't know what will happen or what we want in the future. I wish people would quit asking! I'm just going to enjoy the two babies I have right now. Every single day. We'll deal with the future when it gets here.


waiting and wishing said...

The Puke is KILLING me- especially when it happens right after I finish dressing them! Arrrrg! As for people and their questions- they drive me nuts. We are 95% sure we want more babies, but how is that anyone else's business?!?

Jen said...

Ha, we could buy a small island some day with all the puking!
I lived in GA for 2 years after college; you are right about the culture differences between the South and here-there are many!!
I get plenty of dumb questions too, but people just assume we're done (which we are), and say "wow, you must be really busy!" How do you quantify busy? Aren't we all?? Yep, busy! Run along now, mama's got shit to do, yo!

polycysticinside said...

Hilarious... In NY everyone is like "Wow! Boy and a girl? You're done, then!" NOBODY asks if we want more kids because it seems like everyone assumes we are done with our two (and a "perfect pair" lol). When I say we have always planned on more kids and I think we might try for more in the future, people look at me like I'm crazy, like I just said I am growing another arm. "Really! I can't believe you are even thinking about it!" SO different!

S said...

I honestly don't know why anyone would ask any mother of a child less than 6 months of age--let alone a mom of 4-month-old twins--if she wants more children. Most of my friends with kids that young were still trying to adjust to parenting the baby(ies) they had, not thinking of trying for more! Geesh.

We've known from the get-go that we were done with our two, but the tiniest inkling of a thought of "I could do this again" didn't even creep into my mind until my twin sons were about 8 months old. (Not that I'd have acted on that thought, mind you: that's just when it made an appearance.)

Mrs. F said...

I hate those nosey comments and questions! It pretty much ruined friendship for me when we were TTC. The worst one for me right now is, Are you breast feeding/pumping? The honest answer for me is No. But there is much more to it than that. I feel judged and like I need to explain. Ugh!

Jules said...

HA! I laugh because this reminds me of the conversation I had with Dave, the building maintenance guy at my office, the other day. Really nice guy, asks me on the day I return to work from maternity leave when we're having more kids? My answer, "We'll have more kids when you come over to my house and watch them for me, Dave! LOL!" Oh man, I coulda slapped him!

AJ said...

I love my Kruerig maker too!! It is my favorite appliance in the house right now!! I get asked that all the time too if we want more kids and I just say that my husband says we're done and then laugh it off. But it is interesting to think about and I honestly just do not know at this point.