Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Doing Our Part to Stimulate the Economy

I have been injected with Lupron for 3 days. It's a small needle (insulin size) and I've been doing the injections in my abdomen. Well, that's kind of misleading...my lovely husband has been injecting me. I know it's small and relatively painless, but I hate needles and I'd rather just stand there, close my eyes, and go to my happy place while he shoots me up. He's quite good at it:)
Ah Lupron we meet again. I think Satan invented this drug. I honestly do. Hear me out: I was on a high dosage of it for 3 months prior to having surgery to remove Endometriosis tissue. Without getting too involved with how the meds work and what hormones it suppresses, it essentially puts your ovaries to sleep (aka menopause-like state). Since your ovaries are in "menopause", you get the symptoms that come with menopause including hot flashes, night sweats, headaches, dizziness and mood swings to boot. When I was on it for 3 months, there were times I completely lost it. I was ashamed of the way I treated people...I thought I may have developed Bipolar Disorder. It was terrible!!! In my last month of the med I called Doody's office in despair and told them they had to give me something to balance out how I was feeling. They gave me an estrogen patch, after much pleading, and it helped tremendously! Since Lupron is so effective in treating Endo, Dr. Doody suggested I go on it again while taking breaks between cycles. I flat out refused. I told Doody that if he wanted me to be able to have a husband to reproduce with, Lupron was not an option. I was sure another round of Lupron would send Collin packing (and rightfully so). So anyway, I'm on it again, but this is a smaller dose and much more manageable, so far. I'll let you know how I'm feeling after being on it for another 11 days. In preparation of the possible unwarranted crabbiness to come, Collin and I have developed a code word. When I'm getting crabby, he's supposed to say "puppies" and then I'll remember to take a deep breath and count to 10. We've had to use it already and it worked. I stopped mid-rant and just started laughing. Here's to hoping I can keep my moods in check over the next few weeks.
I am also taking Metanx currently. After the miscarriage, we did genetic testing to see if this was to blame. It turns out, I have a genetic defect called Methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase (MTHFR). Collin is also a carrier for this defect. This big long name means my body doesn't absorb folic acid, an essential nutrient for brain and spinal cord development in babies. Our baby didn't have proper brain or spinal development, therefore, it was thought I miscarried because of this genetic defect. If only I'd have known this information sooner, this could have been prevented...ugh!!!!!!! Metanx gives me folic acid in a different form so my body can absorb it. The MD told me I should be on it (or a similar med) for the rest of my life! That seems like a long time...
Other then the drugs, we also went to our trial transfer in Chatt yesterday. I had to have a full bladder for the procedure so I started chugging water on the road. By the time we got to the clinic, my bladder was indeed full, and sitting in the waiting area listening to their water feature was pure torture! We did the procedure, which to my surprise, was relatively simple. I had some cramping for a few hours afterward from the catheter, but that's it. We got great news (any positive praise I get on my whacky uterus is classified as great no matter how nominal the news) because it was easy to locate and see and Dr. Scotchie thought the embryo transfer should be a breeze.
While at the clinic, we also signed all the consents. Amidst these straightforward consents, we had to sign consents for our embryos, should there be any to freeze, to determine what should be done with them if I die, Collin dies, we both die, we divorce or when I turn 49 (too old to have a child). Thinking of these scenarios was kind of odd. In case you're wondering, we're giving them to each other if either one of us dies, if we both die we're donating them to another infertile couple, if we divorce C has graciously agreed to hand them over to me, and if we're 49 and age out, we're donating them. I told Dr. Scotchie she'd be awful sick of me if I kept coming to see her for another 20 years trying to get pregnant! She pointed out, our embryos would be 20 years old! Imagine...living in a test tube peering out at the world thru glass for 20 years...
We also had to pay up for all this fine care we are about to receive. That one hurt a little. Nothing like handing over hard earned cash for a "chance" at getting pregnant. Side note: I am convinced this is the time it will work!!! On the way to the car, C said we should feel good about it because it's our little way of helping to stimulate the economy. I guess that's one way to look at it...

2 comments:

stick said...

Keep up the positive thinking! Strange thinking about 20 year old embryos.

Ms DanL said...

I took a similar drug to treat my endo & I agree -- any longer on it and I would have been divorced. I had to take it for 6 long months. The physical changes of the body as well as the emotional were just too devastating. I'm enjoying reading your story & wanted to thank you for sharing!