19 Week Update

Today officially kicks off week 20, but who's counting?! Week 19 was very busy for us! (I'm behind on posting on everyone's blogs!) I was thrilled about finding out the genders of the babies and have been walking 10 feet off the ground since then. I can't tell you how many people I've spoken to re: the genders. Every time, people are incredibly enthusiastic. Their excitement still seems a bit foreign to me...for example, I was visiting a co-worker in another area of the hospital and a nurse, who I don't know, overheard us and she raved about how great it was to be having twins and one of each. She then proceeded to ask if twins ran in the family. I get this question a lot and simply state, 'no' and smile. She then said, 'Oh, so it can happen for me! That's my dream, to have boy/girl twins so I can just be pregnant once!' I was very uncomfortable. My co-worker, who knows about the IVF, read my face and changed the subject. Sure, I'm lucky to be pregnant and thrilled about healthy boy/girl twins, but it wasn't all rainbows and butterflies to get here!! I felt like telling her maybe she should drop $15k on IVF and maybe she could make her dream of boy/girl twins come true. How am I supposed to respond to things like this? I just grin and bear it on the outside, but I can't help but feel a twinge of sadness for myself and my husband on the inside. I wonder if this will ever pass?

Of course Mother's Day happened this past week. Every year of IF that passed without a baby or having lost a baby made Mother's Day a bittersweet holiday. I feel for each and every one of you still in the trenches of IF. For those of you who lost a baby or babies or who desperately want, but cannot have a baby, I'm sorry. I wish there were more clear cut answers and ways to fix IF. There should be a day for everyone who wants to be a mom.
For the first time since we started this battle back in '08 I finally had a reason to be happy on Mother's Day. I wasn't sure what the 'rules' are for someone who is pregnant but does not have a baby in their arms yet. However, I received a several thoughtful cards, messages and calls from people. They were all very welcome. Collin, myself and our dog, Miles, took part in a walk to raise money for Cystic Fibrosis Saturday (we helped be a part of the $100,000 raised that day!). After the walk, C surprised me with a hour long facial followed by a hour long pregnancy massage at my favorite salon and spa. It was quite relaxing and a sweet Mother's Day gesture. During the massage I felt a lot of flutters from the babies...I think they enjoyed it too!! We went out for dinner downtown Saturday night and ate under the stars. I felt incredibly blissful the entire weekend. Thank you to my husband for his thoughtfulness and love. He's incredible! I hope all women with babies in their arms, in their hearts, in their uterus developing or women who want babies, but don't have them yet, had a nice Mother's Day!

I've also been working full time nights the past few weeks which has led me to feel exhausted most of the time. This week wraps up the last of my full time hours!! I'm officially cutting back my hours for the rest of the pregnancy. I've read 'When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets or Quads,' which is viewed as THE book to read if expecting multiples. The work restrictions the book suggests are incredibly strict! Who can lay down to rest while at work? Who can work only 4-6 hours a day? Who can sit majority of the day? These are not options if you work in healthcare... I haven't been able to follow their suggestions, but I'll be more within their range for the rest of the pregnancy and I hope it helps us deliver healthy babies at week 36.

My parents and grandma are coming to visit next weekend and they want to hit the stores for baby gear. I'm thrilled!! In preparation of their visit, we actually went to Baby's R Us and registered. Talk about a foreign land...I took suggestions from a Twin Sense and we hit the store. I teared up a few times while scanning items...I'm sure most mom's don't tear up at Baby's R Us. I had dreamed of being able to go into a store and pick out items for a baby for years, and having reason to pick out items was a bit overwhelming. This is happening..FINALLY!!!

As far as the pregnancy goes, I'm feeling great! I'm getting a tad crampy in my hips and shoulders at night. I'm still making treks to the bathroom 3-5 times a night and having some insomnia (that could be night shift related). I've been taking extra DHA for the babies (My OB highly recommended extra doses. Although there is no clear cut proof it helps increase intelligence, there are some studies that suggests it does. It doesn't hurt, so I figured I'd give it a try). I'm feeling a lot of flutters this week. I don't think I'm far off from feeling full fledged kicks from the four legs growing in there! My weekly cravings include chocolate soy milk, pickles, and fruit popsicles. I've managed to gain 3 pounds (11 pounds overall) since my last OB visit 1.5 weeks ago, and this isn't enough! I've been eating fatty foods (ice cream, cheese, peanuts etc.) and I have noticed an increase in my appetite, but I can't seem to pack on the pounds the way she wants me to. I even have taken up drinking Ensure, so I feel like an elderly patient at the hospital, but with no luck. I guess I'll keep plugging along and keep shoving my face full as much as I can. When I go in for my next OB appointment in 2 weeks I hope to be up at least 10 more pounds.

On to week 20!