Wednesday, February 4, 2015

One Year Later

I haven't written anything in almost a year. A YEAR!! Wow. I have thought about it most weeks, but I couldn't ever find the time to actually make it happen. My free time (when the kids are napping) is typically spent cleaning up the disaster Evan and Ella created, prepping/cooking dinner, folding laundry, stuffing diapers, etc. I sneak in a few naps here and there (working late nights makes me tired) and sometimes I get time to just sit and watch TV.  I rarely thought I'd have the time to get out the computer and write. Although I MISS IT!!! So here I am, attempting to write again.

What has changed in the past year that I suddenly feel confident enough to have enough time to commit to writing again? A lot. I kept holding on to the 'it gets easier when they turn one' idea, but one came and went and it was still so damn hard. Honestly, I have struggled a lot in the past year. I've struggled to stay afloat more often than not. I've struggled to keep friendships alive. I've struggled finding time for myself. I've struggled with keeping calm when my wild children want to climb on everything, scream on every outing and had weeks of not sleeping through the night. I struggled to find a balance between complete exhaustion from working, but needing to get out of the house. I've struggled with keeping a happy and healthy marriage; we've argued more with each other in the past 2 years than we have in the past 13 years I've known my husband. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. This has not been easy for me/us. However, I feel like it is FINALLY getting easier. I can go on outings successfully.  Evan and Ella are listening more every day. They are certainly always the most energetic kids around most days, but it's getting easier. At almost 2.5 years of age I have finally gotten to the point where I think life is getting a bit easier. It's certainly not easy, but it is so much better than it was at any point in the past 2.5 years.

Where do I go from here? I honestly don't know where to start. I can't catch you up on what has happened in the past year. There has been too much. I'm just going to start with what's going on now.

We had Evan and Ella evaluated shortly after their second birthdays because speech wasn't happening. Both scored high in all developmental areas except for speech. Ella was borderline on the requiring speech services scale. Evan was as well, but since he was less cooperative during the eval, he came out needed services and Ella did not. I completely disagreed with the eval, but figured we would check out speech therapy anyway. It took months to actually get speech therapy started. We are finally going once a week for an hour. We've only been a few times. I can't say it's helping with speech, but it's very structured and Evan is learning to listen and follow directions well. I'm not worried about their speech. They understand everything we are saying and follow directions. They 'talk' all the time, but not in words we can understand. They understand each other though. I do get frustrated when they have temper tantrums because they want something and I don't know what they want because they won't say it!! It seems to happen at meal time a lot. I am more than ready for the language explosion to happen.

During the evals, there was some concern regarding Evan's attention span.  He is such a spirited little boy... It was suggested we get him in a Mother's Day Out program or preschool. Having him be in a structured environment would help him a bit with his attention. Most of the MDO programs go from 9-2 and they nap at them. I know my kids would have a hard time napping in that kind of environment and if they don't nap well they are complete and utter screaming piles of toddler by the evening.  To save my sanity, we went with a preschool program that goes from 9-12 twice a week. They've been going for a month now and I can notice a big difference! Evan is listening better and following directions better.  He does well in school and they have no concerns about him. He even sits during circle time. Mind blown. Ella is doing great too. They are both very social and love the crafts and activities.

I could go on a lot longer, but nap time is coming to an end soon, so I'm going to have to wrap this up for now. I wonder if anyone will read this? It's been so long....


Jules said...

I read it! I'm glad you commented on my blog so I knew to pop over to yours! We should just send out a mass email to all our IVF momma friends when we've got new posts up. :) I am SO GLAD to hear that even just 2 mornings of school are helping. That's exactly what happened to our boys. I've found that the structure at school helps them with structure that I create at home. Now if I tell them the plan, like, "We're going to do A, then B, then C," now they understand and know what to expect, and they fall in line with it a lot easier. I also totally agree, it's still hard, but it is so much easier since they turned 2. Much of that is my husband is finding it easier too, so he's able to more easily watch them for longer periods of time so I can go out with a friend for lunch, or grocery shopping, or go to choir rehearsal, without having to worry about the boys. We're finally at the point in our marriage where things are starting to get back to normal and it's really nice. We're always going to have that challenge but we're communicating more easily now (after only 2 years of practice! ha!) and being more forthright and honest with each other, and that is really helping.

stick said...

Glad school is helping and life is getting back on track. You will have a great summer ahead and a great year!

Jen said...

I read it too! Glad to hear from you! So glad school is helping them. While mine can talk pretty well, that certainly doesn't mean we can always understand them or they don't have complete "come-aparts" (ha--heard that from you!)
when we don't know what they want--or more likely, when they totally change their mind about what they want and we can't read their minds. Damn....It IS hard, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise! I would also say things are slowly getting easier bit by bit though.

S said...

So nice to read a post from you (though I have enjoyed keeping up with you & your littles on Instagram & Facebook the past year also).

My twins turned 3 in January, and I can relate to so much of what you wrote here. Glad to hear things seem to be getting better. :-)