When winter finally clears out and the weather warms up it is incredibly exciting for me/us! We spend most our time outside during that time. The warm temps give way to hot sweltering summer temps and we hit water activities to keep us busy. By mid August, however, I'm more than ready for a reprieve from the hot sticky temps.
The kids started preschool in Jan. Although they were too young technically, we sent them anyway since it was only half the year. It was a great experience for them and us. When summer came, I knew I would have a hard time filling five days a week with them. I thought about camp, but honestly, I think they should stay home and just enjoy being a kid as long as possible. There's lots of time for camp and summer activities away from home. They are only 2! Well, after having them home one full summer, I think next summer we'll sign them up for some kind of camp.
We've had a busy summer which included (almost) weekly trips to the zoo and tons of pool time among many other things. But, I'M DONE!!! We go out most days to do something. I simply cannot sit at home with them all day every day. But, I am over summer! I'm tired of dragging them out into the heat to play outside in our yard even.
We have been having a lazy week and watching too much TV, but I just don't have the energy to keep the summer fun alive this week. They start school next week and I am very excited to get back into a routine of having some 'alone' time. I am tired of cramming everything into the weekends. Right now, grocery shopping, cleaning, lawn mowing and any house projects get crammed into the weekend. It makes for busy weekends and I'm honestly tired of it. It's impossibly to get any decent cleaning done when they are awake/home. They need attention, are fighting over a toy, crying over something ALL THE TIME. I have to run back and forth to play referee and it's impossible to get anything done.
So, I've hit the inevitable summer wall. I've had this summer wall thing happening since before kids. I'm not a fan of summers in the South at all. The rest of the year is amazing, but summers are just too hot!! School next week. Free time next week. It's happening so soon!!
Although we are still incredibly far behind in talking, we are slowly making progress. My theory for them being delayed in speech is that they are happy and content at home. They play with each other (and they don't need to talk to one another to come up with games), have a solid routine and know what to expect out of their day and simply don't have a real need to talk. There is no evidence or science to back this claim up. Maybe I came up with it just to make myself feel better. But, for whatever reason, talking has been SLLLLOW! Our favorite phrase, however, is "ME TURN." They have gotten much more competitive over toys and some days I feel like all they do is fight over who gets what. I make them share/take turns if they have something they both want. They each get it for about 2 minutes and then I tell them to share/give it to the other one. About half the time they will willingly give up the toy and share. The other half the time (usually Evan) will run away when it's time to share. He sometimes throws the toy or hides it and then runs off and screams/whines about having to share. If he gets really upset, he'll throw/knock over objects. That gets him a direct ticket to his room for 2 minutes. Putting them in their room for a time out is very effective. They hate it and scream 'noooooo!' as soon as you shut the door. They come out after screaming for 2 minutes suddenly calm and willing to cooperate.
They amaze me every day with the things they learn and are able to do. Evan loves to help unload the dishwasher and he even puts all the silverware back in their appropriate spots. We call him an elephant bc he never forgets. Example: we were upstairs playing with Ella's dollhouse. He opened the fridge and started pointing inside of it and saying 'uh oh.' There is some food that goes in the fridge that is maybe 1.5 x 1.5 in big. It's small. Seemingly insignificant. But, it belongs in the fridge and it wasn't there. He took off running downstairs. A few minutes later he was back with that food. He had the proudest look on his face. If he leaves something important outside or in the van he will remember it's out there and insist he goes to get it hours later when he decides he wants it again. Ella is very much into arts and crafts. She loves to paint, color and make things. She is quite and calm when she is being creative. She is also so silly. She loves to make us laugh at her.
They are in a naked phase thing at bedtime. Evan is potty trained and took to it immediately. Ella on the other hand, is a mess. She doesn't want to wear diapers and will hold her pee. She will ask to use the potty and sits on it several times, but as soon as she sits on the potty she has to get off. She refuses to sit on any potty long enough to actually pee. She'll go ask for a diaper, pee in it, and then rip it off and ask for underwear. It's a disaster. We've tried everything. She is very stubborn and simply won't do it. Whatever, I have kind of given up on stressing about it. She's kind of trained? But the naked thing. They go to bed in a pull up for Evan and a diaper for Ella. Both of them take off their pull up/diaper at some point. We go to say goodnight to them before we go to bed (usually around 10-10:30) and there they are both naked form the waist down. Their beds are dry and sometimes Evan's pull up is wet, sometimes not. Ella's diaper is always wet. We put them back in a pull up/diaper, but first thing in the morning they will have them ripped off again. I know it's probably bc they don't want to be wet, but I am not ready to put them in underwear and change sheets/mattress protectors in the middle of the night. I like my sleep!
It seems like there is always something they are doing that I'm trying to fix/change. They always grow out of it in a few weeks.
They are bound to be up from naps any minute now so I'm going to wrap this up. They are still great nappers! I hope I didn't jinx myself.... I know so many people who have problems with naps/kids that won't nap, but that has never been a problem. These two are so busy they are worn out and NEED a nap by 1:30. Some days Ella goes upstairs on her own and puts herself to bed she is so ready for a nap! Nap time is the best. I love a little break from the chaos.
Until next time!!
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Monday, June 1, 2015
Twin Life
I had the brilliant idea of handing my team pens and papers at Target in an attempt to minimize screaming. It was a grocery list just like moms! It worked out beautifully for a while. They happily colored on their paper and proudly showed it to me. 
Things went array when I left the beast aka the double cart at the end of an aisle so I could walk the 4 feet to quickly grab dishwasher tablets and continue on.
Both were laughing loudly and Evan was saying 'ow' in the 32 seconds it took me to grab the tabs and return. In that short time Ella starting stabbing her brother with a pen. Yes, she even drew blood. There is never an ordinary day with these two....
Thursday, May 28, 2015
Balancing the Helicopter vs Free Range Mom Type
Have you ever been to the park and noticed the two ladies sitting on a bench chatting and not paying any attention to their kids? These moms drive me crazy. They are in a deep conversation about what their husband did (or didn't do) last week and can't be bothered to stop their kids from throwing rocks.
We had an incident a few weeks ago where two ladies were doing just that and their kids were off hauling large rocks from the park landscaping around and throwing them on the grass. Throwing rocks looks like fun and guess whose kids wanted to join in? MINE. I'm sorry, but we are not throwing rocks around at the park. It's not appropriate behavior for one and two, mine will drop a rock on their foot and then we'll have a new problem. I had a hell of a time convincing my kids to not follow along in the rock throwing behavior. We actually ended up leaving shortly after this incident because Evan got pissed he couldn't join in the rock throwing and threw a fit. You throw a fit, won't listen to mom and act crazy at the park and we leave. I have a low tolerance for acting crazy in public...
I'm sure you have also seen the ladies who are terrified of everything their kids do. They are constantly saying 'be careful, watch your fingers, look where you are going, take your time, you're too little for that, let me help you etc.' They drive me crazy too. I think kids need to learn, play and explore. They may fall down and get hurt, but isn't that how they learn? When we spend time with my in-laws this is my number one complaint. They are constantly worried about what the kids are doing that may hurt them. Meanwhile, I'm watching them and have zero concern over their behavior. Kids play rough. They fall. They get scratches. To me, that's part of being a kid.
I like to play and interact with my kids when we are out. Even if I am with someone, I cannot shut out what my kids are doing and focus on having an adult conversation. My kids are wild and need my attention. Evan is in a weird bullying state where he will run and play with older kids, but any younger kids he will try to block from climbing equipment. I'm not going to just sit back and let our kids do whatever they want. There are rules to follow and a certain standard of behavior I want them to learn to follow. I don't want to be too involved though. I want them to run and play independently. I want them to explore the world without me hovering over them constantly.
When we are out I tend to try to stick close to them, but then I tell myself not to hover. However, I can't get too far from them because they are 2 and need me to watch them. I guess we lean more toward the free range parenting idea, but I am not about to let them walk to the grocery store by themselves so I have a little helicopter in me. Does anyone else find this a struggle?
This has been on my mind as we are spending a lot of time at parks lately. Last week they played with a 3.5 year old for almost 45 minutes at the park. The three of them ran around and played games together. It was a beautiful thing. I did something I have never done before at the park, I sat on a bench! I sat next to the little boy's mom and we chatted while the kids ran and played. It felt incredibly wrong to just sit there, but incredibly liberating at the same time. I guess I am struggling with where my parental involvement should be at this age. They obviously need me, but they are growing more independent and want to run and play on their own. I guess I'll keep flip flopping between the two extremes for the time being.
We had an incident a few weeks ago where two ladies were doing just that and their kids were off hauling large rocks from the park landscaping around and throwing them on the grass. Throwing rocks looks like fun and guess whose kids wanted to join in? MINE. I'm sorry, but we are not throwing rocks around at the park. It's not appropriate behavior for one and two, mine will drop a rock on their foot and then we'll have a new problem. I had a hell of a time convincing my kids to not follow along in the rock throwing behavior. We actually ended up leaving shortly after this incident because Evan got pissed he couldn't join in the rock throwing and threw a fit. You throw a fit, won't listen to mom and act crazy at the park and we leave. I have a low tolerance for acting crazy in public...
I'm sure you have also seen the ladies who are terrified of everything their kids do. They are constantly saying 'be careful, watch your fingers, look where you are going, take your time, you're too little for that, let me help you etc.' They drive me crazy too. I think kids need to learn, play and explore. They may fall down and get hurt, but isn't that how they learn? When we spend time with my in-laws this is my number one complaint. They are constantly worried about what the kids are doing that may hurt them. Meanwhile, I'm watching them and have zero concern over their behavior. Kids play rough. They fall. They get scratches. To me, that's part of being a kid.
I like to play and interact with my kids when we are out. Even if I am with someone, I cannot shut out what my kids are doing and focus on having an adult conversation. My kids are wild and need my attention. Evan is in a weird bullying state where he will run and play with older kids, but any younger kids he will try to block from climbing equipment. I'm not going to just sit back and let our kids do whatever they want. There are rules to follow and a certain standard of behavior I want them to learn to follow. I don't want to be too involved though. I want them to run and play independently. I want them to explore the world without me hovering over them constantly.
When we are out I tend to try to stick close to them, but then I tell myself not to hover. However, I can't get too far from them because they are 2 and need me to watch them. I guess we lean more toward the free range parenting idea, but I am not about to let them walk to the grocery store by themselves so I have a little helicopter in me. Does anyone else find this a struggle?
This has been on my mind as we are spending a lot of time at parks lately. Last week they played with a 3.5 year old for almost 45 minutes at the park. The three of them ran around and played games together. It was a beautiful thing. I did something I have never done before at the park, I sat on a bench! I sat next to the little boy's mom and we chatted while the kids ran and played. It felt incredibly wrong to just sit there, but incredibly liberating at the same time. I guess I am struggling with where my parental involvement should be at this age. They obviously need me, but they are growing more independent and want to run and play on their own. I guess I'll keep flip flopping between the two extremes for the time being.
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Mom Friends
Years ago when I was walking around with two babies growing in my belly I had fantasized what life would be like after their arrival. Before babies I was working full time nights as a Respiratory Therapist. I was giving up my FT night hours to stay home with the babies. I was ecstatic about the transition! I pictured endless play dates with new mom friends. I thought I'd be running errands without makeup, my hair up and two littles in tow. I could foresee coffee dates and gossip about mom life with my fellow mom friends. I pictured an easy transition to staying home and thought it was going to be the best thing ever!
Well, here we are 2.5 years post the twins arrival. Reality has set it. I am still staying home with the twins, but the stay at home mom life is not as glorious as I pictured it to be. I have a few mom friends, but none that I would call best friends. I couldn't call them up and be comfortable having them over to my messy house at any time. I am certainly not out breezily running errands or chatting up friends at a coffee shop.
Taking the kids on a play date means I have to keep a close eye on Evan because he is in a 'does not share well with others' phase. Both of my kids are energetic. VERY energetic. They are always the wild kids. ALWAYS. I have always left play dates feeling frustrated from my kid's behavior. These two have a zest for life. I love it most of the time, but taking them out places alone can be challenging. They are always the most energetic kids in group settings and I always feel the other moms are judging me. Come on, they are 2!
All of this being said, I do not sit at home with them. We go out all the time. I have made plans with friends and met them out, but honestly, I'm so busy chasing my kids around I barely have time to chat with the other moms. I find it is much easier to just head out on an adventure with the 3 of us. I can chat a little with other moms that are out, but I don't feel the need to talk the entire time we are out. I find this frustrating, but I haven't found any moms I've really connected with who also stay home with their kids.
Was I dreaming too much about how wonderful mom life would be? Whenever we go out, it seems there are always groups of moms hanging out chatting. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one in some of these places without a friend. I guess I feel lonely sometimes staying home. I thought we'd be out hanging out with other moms more. Maybe I'm putting too much emphasis on this. Maybe it is something that will happen as the kids grow up and need less of my attention.
Whenever I should have 20 minutes to myself it never fails, one of the kids will wake up early from a nap... ah!!! I've been trying to write this for over a week, so although it's not really finished I'm going to go ahead and hit publish!!
Well, here we are 2.5 years post the twins arrival. Reality has set it. I am still staying home with the twins, but the stay at home mom life is not as glorious as I pictured it to be. I have a few mom friends, but none that I would call best friends. I couldn't call them up and be comfortable having them over to my messy house at any time. I am certainly not out breezily running errands or chatting up friends at a coffee shop.
Taking the kids on a play date means I have to keep a close eye on Evan because he is in a 'does not share well with others' phase. Both of my kids are energetic. VERY energetic. They are always the wild kids. ALWAYS. I have always left play dates feeling frustrated from my kid's behavior. These two have a zest for life. I love it most of the time, but taking them out places alone can be challenging. They are always the most energetic kids in group settings and I always feel the other moms are judging me. Come on, they are 2!
All of this being said, I do not sit at home with them. We go out all the time. I have made plans with friends and met them out, but honestly, I'm so busy chasing my kids around I barely have time to chat with the other moms. I find it is much easier to just head out on an adventure with the 3 of us. I can chat a little with other moms that are out, but I don't feel the need to talk the entire time we are out. I find this frustrating, but I haven't found any moms I've really connected with who also stay home with their kids.
Was I dreaming too much about how wonderful mom life would be? Whenever we go out, it seems there are always groups of moms hanging out chatting. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one in some of these places without a friend. I guess I feel lonely sometimes staying home. I thought we'd be out hanging out with other moms more. Maybe I'm putting too much emphasis on this. Maybe it is something that will happen as the kids grow up and need less of my attention.
Whenever I should have 20 minutes to myself it never fails, one of the kids will wake up early from a nap... ah!!! I've been trying to write this for over a week, so although it's not really finished I'm going to go ahead and hit publish!!
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Midwest Trip '15
Our first trip with the twins to the Midwest happened when the twins were 9 months old. It was a disaster. We were exhausted. They didn't know what the hell was going on. We swore we would not travel again for a LOOONG time. Well, we've made several trips back since the initial trip. Every time we have said 'what the hell were we thinking?' The kids went through a terrible stranger danger phase and screamed at everyone who wanted to see them. They have NEVER slept on these trips. We have needed 2 weeks to get back home, get everything in order and feel somewhat recovered in the past. Despite all of this, we agreed to meet up with family in Wisconsin Dells in early March at a water park hotel. Yes, apparently I'm a glutton for punishment.
I packed everything for the kids and myself. We ended up easily fitting in the Subaru. Typically we are bursting at the seams to fit everything in (we NEED a van!!!). We have traveled at night (most people tell me their kids sleep when they travel at night thus making night travel the easiest), but our kids did not sleep at night when we have travelled. We have found that leaving by 4 am works best for us. The Duo goes to sleep for a while in the car and we can get a good 4 hours of driving in before needing to stop for breakfast. That's what we did on this latest trip.
I was up at 3 and showered. The husband showered next. We grabbed the kids, changed diapers and put them in the car with confused looks on their faces. They went to bed healthy, but I swear the minute we put Ella in her car seat she started coughing. I think she coughed all the way to the Kentucky boarder before finally falling asleep. We stopped for breakfast as planned around 8. We stopped at a Burger King; I had brought bagels, juice and fruit along for the Duo. They were in great moods and ate a decent amount. Ella hit the cream cheese a little hard, but I figured as long as she was eating I didn't care what her cream cheese to bagel ratio was. We hit the road again after breakfast and about 15 min down the road Ella started coughing and whining. Collin turned around to see what he could do to make her happy (I was driving) and he told me Ella was puking. I swore (I don't remember really, but I'm sure I did). About 30 seconds later, Evan started puking. The husband was in a panic. I told him to grab some wipes and clean it as best as he could until I could pull over. I swore a lot at that point. We were in the middle of nowhere Kentucky. I hit the gas and pulled off at the next exit. There was NOTHING at this exit. Just some snow and roads. I pulled over and Ella puked again. We cleaned up the best we could with wipes. We got the kids out and laid them on the front seat where we changed them. It was freezing cold out. The kids were crying. I remember saying over and over 'we need a van.' Collin sat up front with the kids while I finished cleaning as best I could. Ella's vomit made me gag. Let's just say there is no way anyone in this house is eating strawberry cream cheese anytime soon! We must have looked desperate because a car that had pulled off stopped and asked us if we needed help. I only had one plastic shopping bag in the car so I tossed the puked covered clothes in the bag. I was a terrible person an littered the puke covered baby wipes on the side of the road. I had no where to put them. I feel terrible about this, but I didn't know what to do!
After this disaster, we started wondering if they were sick and we should turn around and head home. No one had a fever. No one seemed ill. They were in good spirits post puke and warm up so we kept driving.
The drive was uneventful until we stopped for lunch. We pulled into a parking spot, got out of the car and Ella puked again! We did the whole clean up thing again!! I had to dig through the suitcase in the bag because I was not prepared to have to change clothes TWICE. We went in and they ate lunch fine. They were both kind of a hot mess from needing a nap, but they seemed ok. We stopped at a pharmacy and grabbed some Dramamine after lunch because we thought they had car sickness. My husband had horrible car sickness as a kid. We also picked up some air freshener because the car STUNK!!! Ugh. You know the smell. Vomit. It hangs in your nostrils. It's unavoidable. It sticks with you.
After that extended stop we hit the road again only to go by a Indiana State Trooper 5 min down the road and have him pull us over. There was more cursing at this point. He came to the passenger side of the car and asked for a license. I of course, appologized for any puke smell coming from the back and told him our twins had been puking all morning. I figured I may as well use the puking twins as a possible way to get out of the ticket perhaps. Feel sorry for me!! Our car smells like puke! We are on a loooong road trip with 2 year olds! The officer looked at my husband's license and asked how we like Knoxville. Um. What? We were both confused by the question and responded with some generalized answers of liking the town. He asked where we were from and where we were going. He then told us he went to the University of Tennessee and since we lived in Knox he would let us off with a warning. We had stopped in Lafayette for lunch and apparently the speed limit goes down to 65 as you pass through the town instead of 70 like the rest of IN. So, we had gotten on the interstate and the husband thought the speed limit was 70 and set the cruise at 76. It was an honest mistake, but thankfully the guy was very kind and let us off with a warning. When we went back to the car to issue the warning all I could do was laugh hysterically. Puking kids. Pulled over. What next?! He came back and did tell us he was very pleased to see kids properly secured in car seats. He told us we were responsible parents. At least we had that going for us.
We made it to our destination (my parents house) in WI without anything else out of the ordinary occurring. We celebrated my Grandpa's 81st birthday that night with my brother, SIL, their two kids, my parents and grandparents. It was fun having the kids play together. Evan got into a wrestling match with his 4 year old cousin Ezra. Evan can sure hold his own against a 4 year old...
Bedtime is typically the biggest concern for us when traveling. Getting the kids to go to sleep can be a nightmare. Although I am very strict with their schedules, I decided to be more lax on this trip. Everyone slept okay the first night, but Ella was up for almost 2 hours coughing in the middle of the night. We each slept with one of the kids. I had Ella so I was off to an exhausting start to the trip.
We went to the Dells the next day and the kids had a lot of fun playing in the water and going on slides. I was worried about how they would react to the water since we have not been in a pool since September. They were awesome though! They loved the kids areas and splashed in the waves of the wave pool. By that evening Ella spiked a fever. No one slept much the second night and by the 3rd day they were sick, exhausted and over the water park. They were clingy toward us and cranky. When my kids are cranky it is very difficult for me to be in a good mood. Both had fevers, were coughing and had a constant flow of snot dripping. Ella was coughing so much she made herself vomit a few times. I started remembering why we should not travel with twins....
One story I don't want to forget about the water park: one of the slides was busy at one point and Ella was in line to go down it. This was on the second day at the water park and she was not feeling well at all. She got out of line and just stood there and started to cry. Evan went up on the slide and stood with her. He stuck out his bottom lip and patted her arms. The look of concern on his face was priceless. The moment they had up on the slide together was the best moment I have seen between the two of them. It was beautiful.
Anyway, we packed up to leave the next day only to find our DVD player would not turn on. We stopped by a Walmart only to find they do not sell portable DVD players anymore. We were going to swing by Best Buy in Madison, but were going to be heading by it an hour before the store opened. SO, we stopped in Rockford, IL for a DVD player at Best Buy. A DVD player is a must on long road trips. Plus, every time we gave Ella something to play with that involved looking down, she would puke. SO, looking up at the TV was necessary to avoid car sickness
The drive home was fine all things considered. We had two exhausted kids who had a fever and terrible colds. We didn't make it home until 11:30 at night; it ended up being almost a 14 hour drive because of the extra stops for the DVD player and fussy sick kids. They honestly were champs and barely fussed on the way home though. I started to feel sick toward the end of the drive. We walked in the door at 11:30 exhausted yet happy to be home and see our pets. Ella was petting the dog when she turned started whining and puked all over the floor. Welcome home indeed.
Evan and Ella were sick for a week. We ended up taking them in to the doctor on day 4 of Ella's fever. Evan was up the night before with a cough that bordered on croup. Ella had an ear infection and Evan a sinus infection. We got some steroids to prevent croup and antibiotics. They were sick a full week and barely ate anything that week. I had terrible congestion and a fever and missed a night of work. On day 10 of my sickness I finally went to the doctor to get antibiotics. Both Collin and I were sick for almost 2 weeks.
We are finally home, unpacked and healthy. A 'quick' trip to Wisconsin had lingering affects that kept us all sick and exhausted for a few weeks. I keep trying to figure out why we do these things to ourselves... It was a fun and fantastic trip, but horribly rotten at the same time. I think that's how life tends to go when you have kids.
If you need travel tips, I have some great toys that helped keep everyone entertained! I can share if you want:)
Also, if anyone wants to see pics of the kids, look me up on Instagram. My name is AmberDS. I doubt I will be posting many pics on here.
I packed everything for the kids and myself. We ended up easily fitting in the Subaru. Typically we are bursting at the seams to fit everything in (we NEED a van!!!). We have traveled at night (most people tell me their kids sleep when they travel at night thus making night travel the easiest), but our kids did not sleep at night when we have travelled. We have found that leaving by 4 am works best for us. The Duo goes to sleep for a while in the car and we can get a good 4 hours of driving in before needing to stop for breakfast. That's what we did on this latest trip.
I was up at 3 and showered. The husband showered next. We grabbed the kids, changed diapers and put them in the car with confused looks on their faces. They went to bed healthy, but I swear the minute we put Ella in her car seat she started coughing. I think she coughed all the way to the Kentucky boarder before finally falling asleep. We stopped for breakfast as planned around 8. We stopped at a Burger King; I had brought bagels, juice and fruit along for the Duo. They were in great moods and ate a decent amount. Ella hit the cream cheese a little hard, but I figured as long as she was eating I didn't care what her cream cheese to bagel ratio was. We hit the road again after breakfast and about 15 min down the road Ella started coughing and whining. Collin turned around to see what he could do to make her happy (I was driving) and he told me Ella was puking. I swore (I don't remember really, but I'm sure I did). About 30 seconds later, Evan started puking. The husband was in a panic. I told him to grab some wipes and clean it as best as he could until I could pull over. I swore a lot at that point. We were in the middle of nowhere Kentucky. I hit the gas and pulled off at the next exit. There was NOTHING at this exit. Just some snow and roads. I pulled over and Ella puked again. We cleaned up the best we could with wipes. We got the kids out and laid them on the front seat where we changed them. It was freezing cold out. The kids were crying. I remember saying over and over 'we need a van.' Collin sat up front with the kids while I finished cleaning as best I could. Ella's vomit made me gag. Let's just say there is no way anyone in this house is eating strawberry cream cheese anytime soon! We must have looked desperate because a car that had pulled off stopped and asked us if we needed help. I only had one plastic shopping bag in the car so I tossed the puked covered clothes in the bag. I was a terrible person an littered the puke covered baby wipes on the side of the road. I had no where to put them. I feel terrible about this, but I didn't know what to do!
After this disaster, we started wondering if they were sick and we should turn around and head home. No one had a fever. No one seemed ill. They were in good spirits post puke and warm up so we kept driving.
The drive was uneventful until we stopped for lunch. We pulled into a parking spot, got out of the car and Ella puked again! We did the whole clean up thing again!! I had to dig through the suitcase in the bag because I was not prepared to have to change clothes TWICE. We went in and they ate lunch fine. They were both kind of a hot mess from needing a nap, but they seemed ok. We stopped at a pharmacy and grabbed some Dramamine after lunch because we thought they had car sickness. My husband had horrible car sickness as a kid. We also picked up some air freshener because the car STUNK!!! Ugh. You know the smell. Vomit. It hangs in your nostrils. It's unavoidable. It sticks with you.
After that extended stop we hit the road again only to go by a Indiana State Trooper 5 min down the road and have him pull us over. There was more cursing at this point. He came to the passenger side of the car and asked for a license. I of course, appologized for any puke smell coming from the back and told him our twins had been puking all morning. I figured I may as well use the puking twins as a possible way to get out of the ticket perhaps. Feel sorry for me!! Our car smells like puke! We are on a loooong road trip with 2 year olds! The officer looked at my husband's license and asked how we like Knoxville. Um. What? We were both confused by the question and responded with some generalized answers of liking the town. He asked where we were from and where we were going. He then told us he went to the University of Tennessee and since we lived in Knox he would let us off with a warning. We had stopped in Lafayette for lunch and apparently the speed limit goes down to 65 as you pass through the town instead of 70 like the rest of IN. So, we had gotten on the interstate and the husband thought the speed limit was 70 and set the cruise at 76. It was an honest mistake, but thankfully the guy was very kind and let us off with a warning. When we went back to the car to issue the warning all I could do was laugh hysterically. Puking kids. Pulled over. What next?! He came back and did tell us he was very pleased to see kids properly secured in car seats. He told us we were responsible parents. At least we had that going for us.
We made it to our destination (my parents house) in WI without anything else out of the ordinary occurring. We celebrated my Grandpa's 81st birthday that night with my brother, SIL, their two kids, my parents and grandparents. It was fun having the kids play together. Evan got into a wrestling match with his 4 year old cousin Ezra. Evan can sure hold his own against a 4 year old...
Bedtime is typically the biggest concern for us when traveling. Getting the kids to go to sleep can be a nightmare. Although I am very strict with their schedules, I decided to be more lax on this trip. Everyone slept okay the first night, but Ella was up for almost 2 hours coughing in the middle of the night. We each slept with one of the kids. I had Ella so I was off to an exhausting start to the trip.
We went to the Dells the next day and the kids had a lot of fun playing in the water and going on slides. I was worried about how they would react to the water since we have not been in a pool since September. They were awesome though! They loved the kids areas and splashed in the waves of the wave pool. By that evening Ella spiked a fever. No one slept much the second night and by the 3rd day they were sick, exhausted and over the water park. They were clingy toward us and cranky. When my kids are cranky it is very difficult for me to be in a good mood. Both had fevers, were coughing and had a constant flow of snot dripping. Ella was coughing so much she made herself vomit a few times. I started remembering why we should not travel with twins....
One story I don't want to forget about the water park: one of the slides was busy at one point and Ella was in line to go down it. This was on the second day at the water park and she was not feeling well at all. She got out of line and just stood there and started to cry. Evan went up on the slide and stood with her. He stuck out his bottom lip and patted her arms. The look of concern on his face was priceless. The moment they had up on the slide together was the best moment I have seen between the two of them. It was beautiful.
Anyway, we packed up to leave the next day only to find our DVD player would not turn on. We stopped by a Walmart only to find they do not sell portable DVD players anymore. We were going to swing by Best Buy in Madison, but were going to be heading by it an hour before the store opened. SO, we stopped in Rockford, IL for a DVD player at Best Buy. A DVD player is a must on long road trips. Plus, every time we gave Ella something to play with that involved looking down, she would puke. SO, looking up at the TV was necessary to avoid car sickness
The drive home was fine all things considered. We had two exhausted kids who had a fever and terrible colds. We didn't make it home until 11:30 at night; it ended up being almost a 14 hour drive because of the extra stops for the DVD player and fussy sick kids. They honestly were champs and barely fussed on the way home though. I started to feel sick toward the end of the drive. We walked in the door at 11:30 exhausted yet happy to be home and see our pets. Ella was petting the dog when she turned started whining and puked all over the floor. Welcome home indeed.
Evan and Ella were sick for a week. We ended up taking them in to the doctor on day 4 of Ella's fever. Evan was up the night before with a cough that bordered on croup. Ella had an ear infection and Evan a sinus infection. We got some steroids to prevent croup and antibiotics. They were sick a full week and barely ate anything that week. I had terrible congestion and a fever and missed a night of work. On day 10 of my sickness I finally went to the doctor to get antibiotics. Both Collin and I were sick for almost 2 weeks.
We are finally home, unpacked and healthy. A 'quick' trip to Wisconsin had lingering affects that kept us all sick and exhausted for a few weeks. I keep trying to figure out why we do these things to ourselves... It was a fun and fantastic trip, but horribly rotten at the same time. I think that's how life tends to go when you have kids.
If you need travel tips, I have some great toys that helped keep everyone entertained! I can share if you want:)
Also, if anyone wants to see pics of the kids, look me up on Instagram. My name is AmberDS. I doubt I will be posting many pics on here.
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
The Past Month
I cannot believe March is nearing its end. The past month has gone by excruciatingly slow and yet extremely fast at the same time. We had a lot of snow and ice storms from the middle of Feb to the end, so the team did not go to school for two weeks straight. We then went to Wisconsin for a long weekend (that deserves an entire post) and got a horrible upper respiratory infection that kept us all sick for a week. I finally went to the doctor on day 10 to get antibiotics because mine turned into a sinus infection I could not kick nor get sleep while battling. The Duo missed school from our vacation and being sick and they then had a week off for spring break. SO, in a month, we sent the kids to school for one day. That one day of school that lasts for 3 hours ended up costing us $250. Sigh.... Not only did they miss all that school, but we had to register for next years preschool which includes a $100 registration fee per child. I feel like I am absolutely bent over grabbing my ankles when it comes to this whole preschool thing. There is NO REFUND for having school cancelled 2 weeks straight. What is most frustrating is that on a lot of those days the roads were clear and the kids could have easily gone to school! These Southern people freak out about any amount of snow.
When you get used to your kids going to school you learn to quickly rely on that 'me time'/break you get from them. I was bouncing off the walls a lot of those days we didn't have school!! I love having 3 hours to grocery shop, clean, get organized etc. Our 'to do' list is never ending. I'm just glad it is over. It felt amazing to drop the kids off today and head to Target and Old Navy ALONE.
The E's also turned 2.5 years old in March. The talking is coming along oh so very slowly. They should be learning words daily, but we are on a learning words weekly rate. Evan is going to speech therapy for an hour a week. Is it helping? Eh. I can't say one way or another. I do know I thought they would have the word explosion everyone keeps talking about. It's frustrating, but they are communicating and slowly learning.
The in-laws were talking about coming to visit in April. We started talking about a possible getaway while they were here while we were out on a day date. It was a 'wouldn't it be nice' conversation. More of a dreaming kind of thing. Well, we turned it into reality. We are heading to NYC for 4 days at the end of April. Our first time away from the Duo for more than 2 nights. I am excited but nervous. All of a sudden we have to plan a will just in case....
People keep asking if we are having another baby. I look at people that ask this with a look of complete disgust. Do you not see the dark circles under my eyes?! We ended up with very energetic kids. There is NO WAY I need to do this again any time soon. Plus, there is no telling I could even get pregnant again. Two kids seems like enough most days.
This ended up being a lot of random thoughts. I guess that's what happens when it takes 2.5 days to actually get this finished. I am so happy it is spring! Being able to play outside in the yard and at parks makes for happy kids!! Happy kids make a happy mom. Until next time!!
When you get used to your kids going to school you learn to quickly rely on that 'me time'/break you get from them. I was bouncing off the walls a lot of those days we didn't have school!! I love having 3 hours to grocery shop, clean, get organized etc. Our 'to do' list is never ending. I'm just glad it is over. It felt amazing to drop the kids off today and head to Target and Old Navy ALONE.
The E's also turned 2.5 years old in March. The talking is coming along oh so very slowly. They should be learning words daily, but we are on a learning words weekly rate. Evan is going to speech therapy for an hour a week. Is it helping? Eh. I can't say one way or another. I do know I thought they would have the word explosion everyone keeps talking about. It's frustrating, but they are communicating and slowly learning.
The in-laws were talking about coming to visit in April. We started talking about a possible getaway while they were here while we were out on a day date. It was a 'wouldn't it be nice' conversation. More of a dreaming kind of thing. Well, we turned it into reality. We are heading to NYC for 4 days at the end of April. Our first time away from the Duo for more than 2 nights. I am excited but nervous. All of a sudden we have to plan a will just in case....
People keep asking if we are having another baby. I look at people that ask this with a look of complete disgust. Do you not see the dark circles under my eyes?! We ended up with very energetic kids. There is NO WAY I need to do this again any time soon. Plus, there is no telling I could even get pregnant again. Two kids seems like enough most days.
This ended up being a lot of random thoughts. I guess that's what happens when it takes 2.5 days to actually get this finished. I am so happy it is spring! Being able to play outside in the yard and at parks makes for happy kids!! Happy kids make a happy mom. Until next time!!
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Pinterest and All the Pressure
The E's have a Valentine's Day party today at school. It's their first school party. Once I got the newsletter and read parents were invited I panicked a bit. I really don't know any of the other parents. We've chatted while coming or going, but that's all. I know all but 1-2 of the kids are stay at home kids. I am worried their moms/dads are going to come up with amazing handmade Valentines and treats.
Whoever created Pinterest should get punched in the bush. Sure, there are wonderful tutorials and do it yourself ideas, but it puts so much pressure on parents!! Homemade is all the rage. Damn it, I don't have time to be crafty all the time. I feel like I'm under a lot of pressure to make amazing homemade everything for the twins, entertain them with crafty activities all day and throw amazing parties thanks to Pinterest. I hate it.
I don't have the time or energy to create homemade Valentines this year. Sorry, Evan and Ella. So we went to Target and picked out Valentines. Evan picked out Minion valentines and Ella picked out Frozen. Big surprise! We got some Valentine themed pretzels to pair with them. I got all those assembled yesterday and decided it was too plain. I quickly made up some cute bags to put them in.
Now the most tricky part, the snack! I was worried about the treat we are supposed to bring. Are these parents health freaks? Will they be all judgey if I don't make something from scratch? I know, I know, I shouldn't care, but I do. I'm the person who cares what other people think. We are mostly healthy with our food choices for the E's, but I'm okay with them having a cookie now and then. Would other moms feel this way? Well, it turns out finding a healthy treat that a 2 year old can eat is not easy. This is what I came up with: sugar cookies topped with strawberry Greek yogurt and fruit. Geeze these things were tedious to make. These two year olds will eat these cookies. I will make them after what I went through to make them.
Anyway, I picked up a shift at work tonight and I am fighting some kind of sinus thing. I have a headache and some congestion in my sinuses. I thought it might be some early allergies, but I'm afraid I'm fighting off a sinus infection. Great. I'm not at all in the mood to go deal with a room of wild toddlers, the wildest who will be mine. Thankfully, the husband is coming to their party too. He works across the street from their school. It will be a huge help to have someone else there to help me manage the Duo. They are making floats and a craft and snacking. Maybe we'll make it out without being covered in paint and soaked from a float.
I need to get myself together and go celebrate Valentine's Day! Let's hope these are decent non-judgey parents!!
Whoever created Pinterest should get punched in the bush. Sure, there are wonderful tutorials and do it yourself ideas, but it puts so much pressure on parents!! Homemade is all the rage. Damn it, I don't have time to be crafty all the time. I feel like I'm under a lot of pressure to make amazing homemade everything for the twins, entertain them with crafty activities all day and throw amazing parties thanks to Pinterest. I hate it.
I don't have the time or energy to create homemade Valentines this year. Sorry, Evan and Ella. So we went to Target and picked out Valentines. Evan picked out Minion valentines and Ella picked out Frozen. Big surprise! We got some Valentine themed pretzels to pair with them. I got all those assembled yesterday and decided it was too plain. I quickly made up some cute bags to put them in.
Now the most tricky part, the snack! I was worried about the treat we are supposed to bring. Are these parents health freaks? Will they be all judgey if I don't make something from scratch? I know, I know, I shouldn't care, but I do. I'm the person who cares what other people think. We are mostly healthy with our food choices for the E's, but I'm okay with them having a cookie now and then. Would other moms feel this way? Well, it turns out finding a healthy treat that a 2 year old can eat is not easy. This is what I came up with: sugar cookies topped with strawberry Greek yogurt and fruit. Geeze these things were tedious to make. These two year olds will eat these cookies. I will make them after what I went through to make them.
Anyway, I picked up a shift at work tonight and I am fighting some kind of sinus thing. I have a headache and some congestion in my sinuses. I thought it might be some early allergies, but I'm afraid I'm fighting off a sinus infection. Great. I'm not at all in the mood to go deal with a room of wild toddlers, the wildest who will be mine. Thankfully, the husband is coming to their party too. He works across the street from their school. It will be a huge help to have someone else there to help me manage the Duo. They are making floats and a craft and snacking. Maybe we'll make it out without being covered in paint and soaked from a float.
I need to get myself together and go celebrate Valentine's Day! Let's hope these are decent non-judgey parents!!
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
All the Whining
Yesterday my husband came home from work around 5:20. Before I even offered him a greeting I shouted 'I need a cocktail now! I can't handle the whining!' Welcome home!
I'm not sure how often other people's kids whine, but some days it feels like ours whine all day long! I cannot express how freaking anxious I am for them to start talking more. I can only hope that developing their speech will help eliminate the whining.
A quick example from yesterday: Ella woke up from her nap and wanted a snack. She walked out to the kitchen and started whining. I asked her what do you want? She replied with more whining. I asked her to tell me what she wanted. She whined. I asked her if she wanted water to which she replied 'yeah. yeah.' Then I asked her why she couldn't just say the word water and eliminate the whining. She just stared at me in response.
Getting meals prepared and cooked can be quite challenging. The only thing I have found that give me at least 5 minute increments to complete something is letting them watch tv. So while I am getting dinner ready, they watch tv. If I don't have dinner served by 5:30 the whining hits a whole new level! They are STARVING and must eat by 5:30 to keep the peace so I'm under a lot of pressure in that kitchen. Even with the tv on, someone is sure to touch the other, sit in the others chair, steal the others water or doll or plane and whining ensues. I have to walk out to the living room to smooth over whatever problem is happening before the whining will stop. Cooking is stressful! I miss the carefree days of leisurely cooking a delicious meal.
Some days it feels like I say 'stop whining' 498234234 times. I probably do. Does it help? Nope. I encourage them to use words and talk all damn day, but it doesn't help. Whining is the preferred way to communicate right now. Have I mentioned how anxious I am for them to talk?
So there ya have it. My kids whine. A lot. Really, a lot. It drives me batty. I don't know how to fix it. I can cope with a brandy old fashioned at the end of the day on those particularly whine-filled days. That's the only solution I have found to help ease my irritation from all the whining.
I'm not sure how often other people's kids whine, but some days it feels like ours whine all day long! I cannot express how freaking anxious I am for them to start talking more. I can only hope that developing their speech will help eliminate the whining.
A quick example from yesterday: Ella woke up from her nap and wanted a snack. She walked out to the kitchen and started whining. I asked her what do you want? She replied with more whining. I asked her to tell me what she wanted. She whined. I asked her if she wanted water to which she replied 'yeah. yeah.' Then I asked her why she couldn't just say the word water and eliminate the whining. She just stared at me in response.
Getting meals prepared and cooked can be quite challenging. The only thing I have found that give me at least 5 minute increments to complete something is letting them watch tv. So while I am getting dinner ready, they watch tv. If I don't have dinner served by 5:30 the whining hits a whole new level! They are STARVING and must eat by 5:30 to keep the peace so I'm under a lot of pressure in that kitchen. Even with the tv on, someone is sure to touch the other, sit in the others chair, steal the others water or doll or plane and whining ensues. I have to walk out to the living room to smooth over whatever problem is happening before the whining will stop. Cooking is stressful! I miss the carefree days of leisurely cooking a delicious meal.
Some days it feels like I say 'stop whining' 498234234 times. I probably do. Does it help? Nope. I encourage them to use words and talk all damn day, but it doesn't help. Whining is the preferred way to communicate right now. Have I mentioned how anxious I am for them to talk?
So there ya have it. My kids whine. A lot. Really, a lot. It drives me batty. I don't know how to fix it. I can cope with a brandy old fashioned at the end of the day on those particularly whine-filled days. That's the only solution I have found to help ease my irritation from all the whining.
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Wednesday, February 4, 2015
One Year Later
I
haven't written anything in almost a year. A YEAR!! Wow. I have thought
about it most weeks, but I couldn't ever find the time to actually make
it happen. My free time (when the kids are napping) is typically spent
cleaning up the disaster Evan and Ella created, prepping/cooking dinner,
folding laundry, stuffing diapers, etc. I sneak in a few naps here and
there (working late nights makes me tired) and sometimes I get time to
just sit and watch TV. I rarely thought I'd have the time to get out
the computer and write. Although I MISS IT!!! So here I am, attempting
to write again.
What has changed in the past year that I suddenly feel confident enough to have enough time to commit to writing again? A lot. I kept holding on to the 'it gets easier when they turn one' idea, but one came and went and it was still so damn hard. Honestly, I have struggled a lot in the past year. I've struggled to stay afloat more often than not. I've struggled to keep friendships alive. I've struggled finding time for myself. I've struggled with keeping calm when my wild children want to climb on everything, scream on every outing and had weeks of not sleeping through the night. I struggled to find a balance between complete exhaustion from working, but needing to get out of the house. I've struggled with keeping a happy and healthy marriage; we've argued more with each other in the past 2 years than we have in the past 13 years I've known my husband. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. This has not been easy for me/us. However, I feel like it is FINALLY getting easier. I can go on outings successfully. Evan and Ella are listening more every day. They are certainly always the most energetic kids around most days, but it's getting easier. At almost 2.5 years of age I have finally gotten to the point where I think life is getting a bit easier. It's certainly not easy, but it is so much better than it was at any point in the past 2.5 years.
Where do I go from here? I honestly don't know where to start. I can't catch you up on what has happened in the past year. There has been too much. I'm just going to start with what's going on now.
We had Evan and Ella evaluated shortly after their second birthdays because speech wasn't happening. Both scored high in all developmental areas except for speech. Ella was borderline on the requiring speech services scale. Evan was as well, but since he was less cooperative during the eval, he came out needed services and Ella did not. I completely disagreed with the eval, but figured we would check out speech therapy anyway. It took months to actually get speech therapy started. We are finally going once a week for an hour. We've only been a few times. I can't say it's helping with speech, but it's very structured and Evan is learning to listen and follow directions well. I'm not worried about their speech. They understand everything we are saying and follow directions. They 'talk' all the time, but not in words we can understand. They understand each other though. I do get frustrated when they have temper tantrums because they want something and I don't know what they want because they won't say it!! It seems to happen at meal time a lot. I am more than ready for the language explosion to happen.
During the evals, there was some concern regarding Evan's attention span. He is such a spirited little boy... It was suggested we get him in a Mother's Day Out program or preschool. Having him be in a structured environment would help him a bit with his attention. Most of the MDO programs go from 9-2 and they nap at them. I know my kids would have a hard time napping in that kind of environment and if they don't nap well they are complete and utter screaming piles of toddler by the evening. To save my sanity, we went with a preschool program that goes from 9-12 twice a week. They've been going for a month now and I can notice a big difference! Evan is listening better and following directions better. He does well in school and they have no concerns about him. He even sits during circle time. Mind blown. Ella is doing great too. They are both very social and love the crafts and activities.
I could go on a lot longer, but nap time is coming to an end soon, so I'm going to have to wrap this up for now. I wonder if anyone will read this? It's been so long....
What has changed in the past year that I suddenly feel confident enough to have enough time to commit to writing again? A lot. I kept holding on to the 'it gets easier when they turn one' idea, but one came and went and it was still so damn hard. Honestly, I have struggled a lot in the past year. I've struggled to stay afloat more often than not. I've struggled to keep friendships alive. I've struggled finding time for myself. I've struggled with keeping calm when my wild children want to climb on everything, scream on every outing and had weeks of not sleeping through the night. I struggled to find a balance between complete exhaustion from working, but needing to get out of the house. I've struggled with keeping a happy and healthy marriage; we've argued more with each other in the past 2 years than we have in the past 13 years I've known my husband. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture. This has not been easy for me/us. However, I feel like it is FINALLY getting easier. I can go on outings successfully. Evan and Ella are listening more every day. They are certainly always the most energetic kids around most days, but it's getting easier. At almost 2.5 years of age I have finally gotten to the point where I think life is getting a bit easier. It's certainly not easy, but it is so much better than it was at any point in the past 2.5 years.
Where do I go from here? I honestly don't know where to start. I can't catch you up on what has happened in the past year. There has been too much. I'm just going to start with what's going on now.
We had Evan and Ella evaluated shortly after their second birthdays because speech wasn't happening. Both scored high in all developmental areas except for speech. Ella was borderline on the requiring speech services scale. Evan was as well, but since he was less cooperative during the eval, he came out needed services and Ella did not. I completely disagreed with the eval, but figured we would check out speech therapy anyway. It took months to actually get speech therapy started. We are finally going once a week for an hour. We've only been a few times. I can't say it's helping with speech, but it's very structured and Evan is learning to listen and follow directions well. I'm not worried about their speech. They understand everything we are saying and follow directions. They 'talk' all the time, but not in words we can understand. They understand each other though. I do get frustrated when they have temper tantrums because they want something and I don't know what they want because they won't say it!! It seems to happen at meal time a lot. I am more than ready for the language explosion to happen.
During the evals, there was some concern regarding Evan's attention span. He is such a spirited little boy... It was suggested we get him in a Mother's Day Out program or preschool. Having him be in a structured environment would help him a bit with his attention. Most of the MDO programs go from 9-2 and they nap at them. I know my kids would have a hard time napping in that kind of environment and if they don't nap well they are complete and utter screaming piles of toddler by the evening. To save my sanity, we went with a preschool program that goes from 9-12 twice a week. They've been going for a month now and I can notice a big difference! Evan is listening better and following directions better. He does well in school and they have no concerns about him. He even sits during circle time. Mind blown. Ella is doing great too. They are both very social and love the crafts and activities.
I could go on a lot longer, but nap time is coming to an end soon, so I'm going to have to wrap this up for now. I wonder if anyone will read this? It's been so long....
Monday, March 3, 2014
Every Mom Should Read This
The article below is the best thing I have read about being a mom. It brought me to tears. It's exactly how I feel about our kids. I had to share with you all. It brought me comfort and inspired me to keep on through the difficult moments I face daily. We have two beautiful children. I am blessed. I'm needed. Me. No one else. Me. I'm a mommy.... It's rarely easy, but it's definitely worth it.
I did not write the piece below. I wish I was that talented at putting my words to paper. I'm copying it for you to read, but the link is also available. I hope you find it as touching as I did!
Mommy, Somebody Needs You
“Mommy, Somebody Needs You.”
The sooner I can accept that being Mommy means that I never go off the clock, the sooner I can find peace in this crazy stage of life. That ‘Mommy’ is my duty, privilege and honor. I am ready to be there when somebody needs me, all day and all night. Mommy means I just put the baby back down after her 4am feeding when a 3-year-old has a nightmare. Mommy means I am surviving on coffee and toddler leftovers. Mommy means my husband and I haven’t had a real conversation in months. Mommy means I neglect myself and put others before my needs, without a thought. Mommy means that my body is full of aches and my heart is full of love.
I am sure there will come a day when no one needs me. My babies will all be long gone and consumed with their own lives. I may sit alone in some assisted living facility watching my body fade away. No one will need me then. I may even be a burden. Sure, they will come visit, but my arms will no longer be their home. My kisses no longer their cure. There will be no more tiny boots to wipe the slush from or seat belts to be buckled. I will have read my last bedtime story, 7 times in a row. I will no longer enforce time outs. There will be no more bags to pack and unpack or snack cups to fill. I am sure my heart will yearn to hear those tiny voices calling out to me, “Mommy, somebody needs you!”
So for now, I find beauty in the peaceful 4am feedings in our cozy little nursery. We are perched above the naked oak trees in our own lavender nest. We watch the silent snow fall and a bunny scampering across its perfect white canvas. It’s just me and my little baby, the neighborhood is dark and still. We alone are up to watch the pale moon rise and the shadows dance along the nursery wall. She and I are the only ones to hear the barn owl hooting in the distance. We snuggle together under a blanket and I rock her back to sleep. It’s 4am and I am exhausted and frustrated, but it’s okay, she needs me. Just me. And maybe, I need her too. Because she makes me Mommy. Some day she will sleep through the night. Some day I will sit in my wheelchair, my arms empty, dreaming of those quiet nights in the nursery. When she needed me and we were the only two people in the world.
Can I enjoy being needed? Sometimes, sure, but often it is tiring. Exhausting. But, it isn’t meant to be enjoyed every moment. It is a duty. God made me their Mom. It is a position I yearned for long before I would ever understand it. Over a 3 day weekend my husband couldn’t believe how many times our boys kept saying, “Mommy. Mommy. Mommy”! “Are they always like this?” he asked not able to hide his terror, and sympathy. “Yep. All day, everyday. That’s my job.” And I have to admit that it is the toughest job I have ever had. In a previous life I was a restaurant manager for a high volume and very popular chain in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida. A Saturday night at 7:30pm with the expo window overflowing with dishes, a 2 hour wait, and the electricity inexplicably going out has got nothing on a Tuesday, 5:00pm at the Morton house. And let me tell ya, South Florida diners are some of the toughest to please. But, they are a cake walk compared to sleep-deprived toddlers with low blood sugar.
Once upon a time, I had time. For myself. Now, my toe nails need some love. My bra fits a little differently. My curling iron might not even work anymore, I don’t know. I can’t take a shower without an audience. I’ve started using eye cream. I don’t get carded any more. My proof of motherhood. Proof that somebody needs me. That right now, somebody always needs me. Like last night…
At 3am I hear the little footsteps entering my room. I lay still, barely breathing. Maybe he will retreat to his room. Yeah right.
“Mommy.”
“Mommy.” A little louder.
“Yes”. I barely whisper.
He pauses, his giant eyes flashing in the dim light.
“I love you.”
And just like that, he is gone. Scampered back to his room. But, his words still hang in the cool night air. If I could reach out and snatch them, I would grab his words and hug them to my chest. His soft voice whispering the best sentence in the world. I love you. A smile curls across my lips and I slowly exhale, almost afraid to blow the memory away. I drift back to sleep and let his words settle into my heart.
One day that little boy will be a big man. There will no longer be any sweet words whispered to me in the wee hours. Just the whir of the sound machine and the snoring husband. I will sleep peacefully through the night, never a worry of a sick child or a crying baby. It will be but a memory. These years of being needed are exhausting, yet fleeting. I have to stop dreaming of “one day” when things will be easier. Because, the truth is, it may get easier, but it will never be better than today. Today, when I am covered in toddler snot and spit up. Today, when I savor those chubby little arms around my neck. Today is perfect. ”One day” I will get pedicures and showers alone. ”One day” I will get myself back. But, today I give myself away, and I am tired, and dirty and loved SO much, and I gotta go. Somebody needs me.
Thursday, February 27, 2014
Stroller Conspiracy
It's happening. I'm becoming a crazy stroller lady.
I am convinced that stroller companies have banded together to make strollers that are good at different things so your forced to buy multiple strollers. I don't think the perfect stroller exists. Depending on what you want to do, you need a different stroller. I honestly think it's a conspiracy forcing you to buy multiple strollers.
Want to go for a jog? There's a stroller for that!
Want to go to the mall? There's a stroller for that!
Want to go for a hike? There's a stroller for that!
Want to go on a trip and need something compact? There's a stroller for that!
Don't even get me started on these $400+ strollers that don't come with all the accessories. Drink holder? Buy it! Key holder? Buy it! Snack tray? Buy it. Give me a break!!
Here's the deal on my strange stroller addiction that is reaching epic proportions at my house these days.
We started out with a Graco DuoGlider. Why? We had Graco infant seats and it fit the seats. It was reasonably priced (about $120). We looked at the fancy pants strollers, but I couldn't understand why a stroller could cost $500+. Um, it pushes babies around. Isn't a stroller a stroller?
The stroller served it's purpose. We went for short walks around the neighborhood. We didn't go out a lot in those early days, so it was fine. Once the twinkies grew out of their infant carriers around 7 months, the stroller's faults became evident. It only has a lap belt and not a 5 point harness. Cue the curious babies leaning over the sides to grab things and nearly falling out on their head. Once they got bigger and I wanted to go on longer walks (2+ miles) and the thing was a beast to push around our hilly neighborhood. Don't even try to off road on grass or go up and down curbs unless you want to tip your babies over on their heads.
So, the hunt for a jogger stroller began. I was still convinced paying a premium to get a decent stroller was not necessary. Through our multiples group, I found someone selling a Baby.Trend Double Jogger. Used double joggers are not easy to come by... It seemed decent and it cost only $60 so I snapped it up. We jogged in it. We did some off roading in it at a pumpkin patch in the fall. We tackled the hills in our neighborhood. The thing was a beast though! It's so wide it can't fit through narrow doors (we have a grocery store within walking distance and I like to walk there to pick up food when it's nice out. We needed a wide load sign on it to get down the grocery aisles.) Plus, it was huge when folded down and the wheels all had to come off to get it in the back of our Subaru. Instead of buying a bigger vehicle I figured it was time to upgrade to a better stroller yet again!
This time we pulled out all the stops and did a TON of research on double strollers. We read the reviews and we tried them out in the store. I had it narrowed down the the City Mini and a BOB. I lost sleep over the decision. I'm not kidding. I really lost sleep. I talked about it nonstop. I kept flip flopping. It was a major decision. BOB won out. It wasn't really close once we tried out both strollers in the store. It was love at first sight. I had to have it.
Although BOB is amazing and we cruise through the neighborhood with ease, hike in the Smoky Mountains without a problem, scale curbs and grass incredibly smoothly, it's too cumbersome to hall around out in stores. We took it to the mall once and got stuck in the Clinique aisle. Not joking...my husband had to move a perfume stand out of the way.
Since rearranging perfume stands is not on my agenda whenever we go out, we stuck with the original Graco stroller for store/mall outings. They have gotten bigger and stronger and it's a pain hauling them around in that thing. It's impossible to go in a store without them leaning out and throwing a stack of shirts on the floor or taking down a mannequin.
I hated the thought of buying yet another stroller, but to make things easier for me to take them out by myself, I started to feel the stroller buying itch again. I started thinking about a City Mini and was creating ways in my mind to justify the purchase. Low and behold, someone posted a Joovy Scooter X2 on our local multiples site. It was gently used and she was selling for only $100. I quickly wrote to the seller, did a quick search on the reviews for the stroller and set up a time to buy it. I'm glad I responded quickly because within hours after I wrote, there were a handful of people interested in it.
This beauty has been in my possession for a few weeks and I LOVE IT!! I took it on a walk and it certainly is not a walking stroller. BOB is the ultimate in terms of walking. However, it is fantastic in stores and navigating tight spaces. The storage underneath is amazing!! I can stand the diaper bag up and not have to lay it down and squeeze it in. It works great for bringing to the grocery store (we often walk to grab items) because I can load a lot under it! It has made my life easier and for that I thank you!
I shy away from 'advice' writing posts. However, I have to share a run down of my thoughts on must have strollers: a decent jogger (I'm a huge fan of BOB) to get out to places with uneven terrain (downtown city walking, zoo, walking paths, etc.), a store/mall stroller and single umbrella strollers (it's nice to get 1:1 time).
Since this was stroller number 5 I decided it was time to sell some of the old ones. I dug them all out and set them up during nap time and snapped pics. I sold the jogger the day I listed it! That's the thing with strollers (at least double strollers. I don't claim to know a thing about single strollers), you can always sell the quality strollers without a problem! The strollers were all parked in the garage post nap time and a lady walking by said it looked like 'stroller city' in our garage.
Yeah, I know, I have a stroller addiction problem... Move over crazy cat lady. Make room for the crazy stroller lady!
I am convinced that stroller companies have banded together to make strollers that are good at different things so your forced to buy multiple strollers. I don't think the perfect stroller exists. Depending on what you want to do, you need a different stroller. I honestly think it's a conspiracy forcing you to buy multiple strollers.
Want to go for a jog? There's a stroller for that!
Want to go to the mall? There's a stroller for that!
Want to go for a hike? There's a stroller for that!
Want to go on a trip and need something compact? There's a stroller for that!
Don't even get me started on these $400+ strollers that don't come with all the accessories. Drink holder? Buy it! Key holder? Buy it! Snack tray? Buy it. Give me a break!!
Here's the deal on my strange stroller addiction that is reaching epic proportions at my house these days.
We started out with a Graco DuoGlider. Why? We had Graco infant seats and it fit the seats. It was reasonably priced (about $120). We looked at the fancy pants strollers, but I couldn't understand why a stroller could cost $500+. Um, it pushes babies around. Isn't a stroller a stroller?
The stroller served it's purpose. We went for short walks around the neighborhood. We didn't go out a lot in those early days, so it was fine. Once the twinkies grew out of their infant carriers around 7 months, the stroller's faults became evident. It only has a lap belt and not a 5 point harness. Cue the curious babies leaning over the sides to grab things and nearly falling out on their head. Once they got bigger and I wanted to go on longer walks (2+ miles) and the thing was a beast to push around our hilly neighborhood. Don't even try to off road on grass or go up and down curbs unless you want to tip your babies over on their heads.
So, the hunt for a jogger stroller began. I was still convinced paying a premium to get a decent stroller was not necessary. Through our multiples group, I found someone selling a Baby.Trend Double Jogger. Used double joggers are not easy to come by... It seemed decent and it cost only $60 so I snapped it up. We jogged in it. We did some off roading in it at a pumpkin patch in the fall. We tackled the hills in our neighborhood. The thing was a beast though! It's so wide it can't fit through narrow doors (we have a grocery store within walking distance and I like to walk there to pick up food when it's nice out. We needed a wide load sign on it to get down the grocery aisles.) Plus, it was huge when folded down and the wheels all had to come off to get it in the back of our Subaru. Instead of buying a bigger vehicle I figured it was time to upgrade to a better stroller yet again!
This time we pulled out all the stops and did a TON of research on double strollers. We read the reviews and we tried them out in the store. I had it narrowed down the the City Mini and a BOB. I lost sleep over the decision. I'm not kidding. I really lost sleep. I talked about it nonstop. I kept flip flopping. It was a major decision. BOB won out. It wasn't really close once we tried out both strollers in the store. It was love at first sight. I had to have it.
Although BOB is amazing and we cruise through the neighborhood with ease, hike in the Smoky Mountains without a problem, scale curbs and grass incredibly smoothly, it's too cumbersome to hall around out in stores. We took it to the mall once and got stuck in the Clinique aisle. Not joking...my husband had to move a perfume stand out of the way.
Since rearranging perfume stands is not on my agenda whenever we go out, we stuck with the original Graco stroller for store/mall outings. They have gotten bigger and stronger and it's a pain hauling them around in that thing. It's impossible to go in a store without them leaning out and throwing a stack of shirts on the floor or taking down a mannequin.
I hated the thought of buying yet another stroller, but to make things easier for me to take them out by myself, I started to feel the stroller buying itch again. I started thinking about a City Mini and was creating ways in my mind to justify the purchase. Low and behold, someone posted a Joovy Scooter X2 on our local multiples site. It was gently used and she was selling for only $100. I quickly wrote to the seller, did a quick search on the reviews for the stroller and set up a time to buy it. I'm glad I responded quickly because within hours after I wrote, there were a handful of people interested in it.
This beauty has been in my possession for a few weeks and I LOVE IT!! I took it on a walk and it certainly is not a walking stroller. BOB is the ultimate in terms of walking. However, it is fantastic in stores and navigating tight spaces. The storage underneath is amazing!! I can stand the diaper bag up and not have to lay it down and squeeze it in. It works great for bringing to the grocery store (we often walk to grab items) because I can load a lot under it! It has made my life easier and for that I thank you!
I shy away from 'advice' writing posts. However, I have to share a run down of my thoughts on must have strollers: a decent jogger (I'm a huge fan of BOB) to get out to places with uneven terrain (downtown city walking, zoo, walking paths, etc.), a store/mall stroller and single umbrella strollers (it's nice to get 1:1 time).
Since this was stroller number 5 I decided it was time to sell some of the old ones. I dug them all out and set them up during nap time and snapped pics. I sold the jogger the day I listed it! That's the thing with strollers (at least double strollers. I don't claim to know a thing about single strollers), you can always sell the quality strollers without a problem! The strollers were all parked in the garage post nap time and a lady walking by said it looked like 'stroller city' in our garage.
Yeah, I know, I have a stroller addiction problem... Move over crazy cat lady. Make room for the crazy stroller lady!
Monday, February 10, 2014
The Things I Swore I'd Never Do
You know when you are thinking about becoming a parent and you'll think to yourself or say to your spouse, 'when we have kids I'll never....' You tally up this mental list of things you'll ideally do or not do when you have children. You know, because you're going to have a perfect family and it's all going to go as planned...
Well, I certainly had a parenting list creating in my little head of how things would go. Then we couldn't just 'get pregnant', we ended up with twins, our twins had horrible reflux, one had colic, etc. You get the picture. Life doesn't happen as you plan. We all know that. Here is a list of things I swore I'd never do as a parent! I'm a rule breaker!!
*LET MY KIDS WATCH TV. I'd seen the kids zoned out staring at the TV not responding when you spoke to them. My kids would never be like that! We'll be doing crafts, playing outside and doing other creative activities. HA! What was I thinking?! We stumbled across a show (Tec the Tractor-worst show EVER btw) that stopped Evan in his tracks. It was a particularly desperate Saturday filled with whining. Collin turned on Baby TV. That damn tractor was there and Evan stopped whining and watched the show. He was hooked. We now have a routine that includes watching Tec while we drink milk because it's the only way to get him to sit still to drink his milk. We also watch Baby E.instein DVD's before bed. Again, it keeps them calm and they drink their bedtime milk this way. We started watching the Ein.stein DVD's early on. They'd be in their jumpers watching them and be content. It was a beautiful thing. I know, kids aren't supposed to have any screen time before they are 2. I thought we'd be doing that, but sometimes we need TV. It calms them down...mom needs that to save her sanity.
*HAVE PACIFIERS I was adament in the hospital about not letting them have pacifiers. I didn't want to get them hooked on them. One of my pet peeves is seeing children with pacifiers who are too old to have them. I didn't want to be one of those people. We came home with our two angelic babies and something happened. They became screaming monsters sometimes. Evan was inconsolable for hours on end (COLIC SUCKS). We broke down and gave them pacis. It calmed them down and made them happy. We had a 'only in the crib, car seat or stroller' rule. We stuck to that until teething started. Then they became whiny messes and mom wanted to pull her hair out many days so I broke down and started giving them pacis more frequently. They also got sick a few times and we couldn't comfort them. You know what did (at least a little)? Pacis. Yup. If it makes you feel a little better, have it. I know they have them too much right now, but again, sometimes it's for my sanity. Since teeth aren't coming in fast and furious anymore, we're reducing the time they have them. We'll wean them eventually...
*CRY IT OUT The thought of letting my babies scream in the middle of the night without comforting them seems absurd. Well, after 16.5 months of not sleeping well, I changed my tune. We tried laying them down over and over when they'd wake up at night. We tried watering down bottles. We've gradually reduced the amount they drink in the middle of the night. We've tried letting them cry and going in to comfort them in gradually longer intervals. We attempted to let them CIO before. But one of them crying would wake the other and then we'd have two crying babies. After an hour of crying I just wanted it to stop. Them crying meant neither of us were sleeping... CIO was not very successful. We've mostly just broken down and picked them up, rocked them or even fed them in order to just get them to sleep. Typically, we've been feeding them around 3-4 am. Usually this was the only time they would get up. It didn't seem that bad. However, in the past 2 weeks they went on a series of getting up 2-3 times at night for no apparent reason. That was my breaking point. We are both beyond exhausted. Cranky. Irritable. So, we decided, after a mini mom meltdown, we had to cry it out. For real. We started on a Friday night. Evan is stubborn!!! He was up crying for over 2 hours... We moved to the basement at one point because both were crying and we couldn't sleep. Both of them were up on and off throughout the night, but we were firm. We didn't give in. It sucked. Night two went better as they were up only 1-2 times and the crying time was reduced to about 20 minutes. Night three, Ella was up once (I went in and gave her a paci) and Evan was up once for a short time, but they slept until 8:20. We aren't doing bottles in the middle of the night. I hope in the next few nights they sleep without waking at all. I hate CIO. Hate it with a passion, but I don't know what else to do. I literally haven't slept soundly in years...
*GET FRUSTRATED/COMPLAIN We tried over 4 years to have children. I always told myself when I heard other women complaining about their kids that I would NEVER do that. I'd always be grateful to finally be blessed with children. While I am beyond grateful for our two healthy beautiful children, it has not been an easy road. Some days I am tired from getting interrupted sleep the night before after working and not getting to bed until 12:30 a.m. Some days they whine endlessly and I get frustrated beyond belief. Some days I feel inadequate. Some days I feel lonely. I complain and even cry to my husband. I have mini melt downs and tell him how miserable I am some days. I dream of running away to start a new life in a coastal town (no I'd never do this, but I think about when I'm having a bad day). There are difficult days and nights. I have not been completely thankful. My infertile self would like to slap my complaining mom self some days.Yes, they are amazing and make me laugh. I can't imagine life without them. I love them so much it hurts. Everyone should have the chance to parent. It's a beautiful thing. BUT, it's incredibly difficult and trying at the same time. I don't want to get frustrated and upset with these beautiful babies I prayed and begged for, who think the world of me, but I must admit that some days I do... Some days I am ungrateful.
There are other things, but these are my top four. If only life went as planned, I could be the perfect parent I imagined myself being... This parenting thing is hard. I'm learning every day and I am trying my best to do well by these sweet little toddlers who have beaming faces of pure joy when they look at me. Sure, I've done some things I swore I'd never do, but we're all surviving. We're all happy (mostly). We're making it and learning as we go.
What kind of things did you swear you would never do as a parent?
Well, I certainly had a parenting list creating in my little head of how things would go. Then we couldn't just 'get pregnant', we ended up with twins, our twins had horrible reflux, one had colic, etc. You get the picture. Life doesn't happen as you plan. We all know that. Here is a list of things I swore I'd never do as a parent! I'm a rule breaker!!
*LET MY KIDS WATCH TV. I'd seen the kids zoned out staring at the TV not responding when you spoke to them. My kids would never be like that! We'll be doing crafts, playing outside and doing other creative activities. HA! What was I thinking?! We stumbled across a show (Tec the Tractor-worst show EVER btw) that stopped Evan in his tracks. It was a particularly desperate Saturday filled with whining. Collin turned on Baby TV. That damn tractor was there and Evan stopped whining and watched the show. He was hooked. We now have a routine that includes watching Tec while we drink milk because it's the only way to get him to sit still to drink his milk. We also watch Baby E.instein DVD's before bed. Again, it keeps them calm and they drink their bedtime milk this way. We started watching the Ein.stein DVD's early on. They'd be in their jumpers watching them and be content. It was a beautiful thing. I know, kids aren't supposed to have any screen time before they are 2. I thought we'd be doing that, but sometimes we need TV. It calms them down...mom needs that to save her sanity.
*HAVE PACIFIERS I was adament in the hospital about not letting them have pacifiers. I didn't want to get them hooked on them. One of my pet peeves is seeing children with pacifiers who are too old to have them. I didn't want to be one of those people. We came home with our two angelic babies and something happened. They became screaming monsters sometimes. Evan was inconsolable for hours on end (COLIC SUCKS). We broke down and gave them pacis. It calmed them down and made them happy. We had a 'only in the crib, car seat or stroller' rule. We stuck to that until teething started. Then they became whiny messes and mom wanted to pull her hair out many days so I broke down and started giving them pacis more frequently. They also got sick a few times and we couldn't comfort them. You know what did (at least a little)? Pacis. Yup. If it makes you feel a little better, have it. I know they have them too much right now, but again, sometimes it's for my sanity. Since teeth aren't coming in fast and furious anymore, we're reducing the time they have them. We'll wean them eventually...
*CRY IT OUT The thought of letting my babies scream in the middle of the night without comforting them seems absurd. Well, after 16.5 months of not sleeping well, I changed my tune. We tried laying them down over and over when they'd wake up at night. We tried watering down bottles. We've gradually reduced the amount they drink in the middle of the night. We've tried letting them cry and going in to comfort them in gradually longer intervals. We attempted to let them CIO before. But one of them crying would wake the other and then we'd have two crying babies. After an hour of crying I just wanted it to stop. Them crying meant neither of us were sleeping... CIO was not very successful. We've mostly just broken down and picked them up, rocked them or even fed them in order to just get them to sleep. Typically, we've been feeding them around 3-4 am. Usually this was the only time they would get up. It didn't seem that bad. However, in the past 2 weeks they went on a series of getting up 2-3 times at night for no apparent reason. That was my breaking point. We are both beyond exhausted. Cranky. Irritable. So, we decided, after a mini mom meltdown, we had to cry it out. For real. We started on a Friday night. Evan is stubborn!!! He was up crying for over 2 hours... We moved to the basement at one point because both were crying and we couldn't sleep. Both of them were up on and off throughout the night, but we were firm. We didn't give in. It sucked. Night two went better as they were up only 1-2 times and the crying time was reduced to about 20 minutes. Night three, Ella was up once (I went in and gave her a paci) and Evan was up once for a short time, but they slept until 8:20. We aren't doing bottles in the middle of the night. I hope in the next few nights they sleep without waking at all. I hate CIO. Hate it with a passion, but I don't know what else to do. I literally haven't slept soundly in years...
*GET FRUSTRATED/COMPLAIN We tried over 4 years to have children. I always told myself when I heard other women complaining about their kids that I would NEVER do that. I'd always be grateful to finally be blessed with children. While I am beyond grateful for our two healthy beautiful children, it has not been an easy road. Some days I am tired from getting interrupted sleep the night before after working and not getting to bed until 12:30 a.m. Some days they whine endlessly and I get frustrated beyond belief. Some days I feel inadequate. Some days I feel lonely. I complain and even cry to my husband. I have mini melt downs and tell him how miserable I am some days. I dream of running away to start a new life in a coastal town (no I'd never do this, but I think about when I'm having a bad day). There are difficult days and nights. I have not been completely thankful. My infertile self would like to slap my complaining mom self some days.Yes, they are amazing and make me laugh. I can't imagine life without them. I love them so much it hurts. Everyone should have the chance to parent. It's a beautiful thing. BUT, it's incredibly difficult and trying at the same time. I don't want to get frustrated and upset with these beautiful babies I prayed and begged for, who think the world of me, but I must admit that some days I do... Some days I am ungrateful.
There are other things, but these are my top four. If only life went as planned, I could be the perfect parent I imagined myself being... This parenting thing is hard. I'm learning every day and I am trying my best to do well by these sweet little toddlers who have beaming faces of pure joy when they look at me. Sure, I've done some things I swore I'd never do, but we're all surviving. We're all happy (mostly). We're making it and learning as we go.
What kind of things did you swear you would never do as a parent?
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
This Really Happened
I've talked a little about Evan's personality, but for this post to be mildly interesting to you, here's a little info about our little guy named Evan.
He's...um..particular. He's by no means an easy child. I have one of those. I know the difference. He was notorious for being a difficult child to get to sleep. As his personality has developed, I now know why. He's curious. He doesn't want to stop. He's a go getter. We don't call him the CEO for nothing...
Anyway, he's never one of those kids to just fall asleep. He needs his blankie, his paci and he needs to be rocked. He won't sleep unless it's in his crib. There's a way to do it. If you don't do it right, he'll let you know. Once he is asleep, he sleeps amazing (for naps anyway). He's typically a 3 hour napper.
That being said, this happened today.
We had afternoon milk and watched Tec on TV. (yes, I was one of those people who said 'my kids will never watch tv. Well, sometimes we need it. Sometimes MOM needs it. That's for another post...) He wasn't signing for more after the show ended. Highly unusual. I looked at him and he was asleep. What?! He hasn't fallen asleep on me since he was a tiny baby....
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| I stood up, fetched a diaper and laid him on the floor. He was still sleeping. |
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| I proceeded to change his diaper. He kicked a little while I wiped him with a cold wipe, but he was still sleeping... |
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| Ella decided he needed his blankie if he was going to be sleeping. |
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| Ella dropped his blankie on his face. What a kind sister. |
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| I carried him up to his room and placed him in his crib. He never woke up. |
Can you believe it?! Most kids probably do this kind of thing all the time and it's not a big deal. It's a huge deal to me! Mind blowing. My kid doesn't do this.... The CEO is getting soft.
I had to make sure to document this occurrence because it's only a tad shy of a miracle for this mama.
Sweet dreams my sweet boy!
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